Looked bute
Sounded great in IMAX
I did not like the gestation period of the alien being so stupidly quick. It went from facehugger to full grown arsehole alien in, what, less than 5 minutes. In fact, the whole thing was so stupid at the pace it was moving. The timer of 40 minutes until the ship crashes was unnecessary IMO. Why not make it 3 days or whatever and just have them trapped. Fade to black a few times as the characters catch their breath; figure out a way to deal with a threat; or just allow the alien to fucking grow. It felt like it wanted to incorporate elements of the previous films in one compilation when it should have just picked a lane. If you want to be like Alien then just stop the characters for a minute. If you want a 40 minute timer then be like Aliens and let the baddies already be present. And low-fan service my arse. The whole thing was just bits of other films. Even the turret section from the deleted scene was present with the acid stuff. And how come she had 400 rounds in an assault rifle? And it wasn’t even as good as the source material. Look at when they enter the hive…”let’s not go here” “Hey, I heard a noise!” and just fucking runs off. And the hive was actually one corridor which they run up and then back down. Really forgettable. And the dumb set pieces took its toll in the end. When the dude took a phone call while sneaking by the facehuggers? I rolled my eyes so fucking hard. When the alien caught her as she fell down the lift shaft? When the alien dipped in a hole after that and poked his head back out? When Andy said “…get away from her you bitch”?

Talking of Andy, the actor did a good job, but come on, I fucking hate it in films when dumb means talking like you’ve got a brain injury and being intelligent means talking like you’re suddenly unaware how to talk to people. They could have just leaned more into whether the Android was evil or good without the silly fucking talking, but, oh wait they did that in what film? Most of them. And what an ending? Ejecting the baddie from space? AGAIN. Frankly, I didn’t get much of what dude was trying to do with the black goop, but I’m sure they said reverse engineer the black goop or something so where did they get a picture of the pots the goop came in? Was the shape of the pot in the DNA? And the big CG close up of the dudes face when he grabbed her by the face? I was yawning so hard. Just fuck off into space like you know where you’re going. And why did that woman inject the black goop? She had no more than a fucking paper cut by the end. She was that sodding critical as they said and even managed to limp her way back to the ship before she just decided to inject some unknown black shit in her neck.

Seriously, they should have ditched the basketball player at the end, saved the money on CG, slowed the film down more and leaned into the horror elements. AND I’m annoyed at so many CG facehuggers. Just have a couple. Those fuckers are scary enough. When it stuck its willy in that chaps mouth I was physically retching. It was fucking groovy. More of that, I was hoping. Then it just got shitter.

Mind you, I was wondering how that chap was physically able to swing his bat like a boss when he’d just took some nitrogen to his fingers. They seemed to instantly forget about that.

Anyway, I had fun at the cinema and thought it was a good time but on the way home dissected the film and decided it was a bit shit.