Look, The Blackening is supposed to be a comedy horror parody but it just ain’t ‘funny’ enough. There’s a couple of genuine chuckles to be had (like, literally 2) but it just ain’t as funny as it thinks it is. Also the cast is largely unlikeable. It reminded me a lot of that other horror with Pete Davis in it, that came out fairrrrly recently, I think. If you thought that was the best thing since sliced bread then you’ll enjoy this, but I thought it was a bag of wank.
Also the direction is shit. There’s zero atmosphere and shaky cams for static shots of people just standing still or pulling a face? Fuck outta here. Makes the cameraman look drunk for no reason.
If you want comedy horror parody then I’ll stick with Scary Movie 1. Or A Haunted House 1. And 2. Man alive, I’m just remembering that these are actually my guilty pleasure films.
Also the direction is shit. There’s zero atmosphere and shaky cams for static shots of people just standing still or pulling a face? Fuck outta here. Makes the cameraman look drunk for no reason.
If you want comedy horror parody then I’ll stick with Scary Movie 1. Or A Haunted House 1. And 2. Man alive, I’m just remembering that these are actually my guilty pleasure films.
I’ve watched 45 minutes of No Hard Feelings with Jennifer Lawrence and I think it’s the best film I’ve ever seen. A stark bollock naked JL full on scrapping with teens was hilarious. I don’t even care that they CG’ed some saggy tits onto her.
THIS is how you do a comedy!
THIS is how you do a comedy!
I'm interested in A Quiet Place: Day One. Not sure why though as A Quiet Place 2 was unbelievably rubbish.
Blucey wrote:
I'm interested in A Quiet Place: Day One. Not sure why though as A Quiet Place 2 was unbelievably rubbish.
I watched it last night (MAXX screen with powered recliner chairs, awesome sound) having missed the first too films and it was very good. Nice and tense, and I didn’t feel like I was missing anything.
Blue Beatle is … mid, but surprisingly enjoyable for 30-40% of it. The endless droning of “I don’t kill. I don’t want to be a murderer” despite people literally trying to murder you and your family was annoying though. Just fuck someone up and stop moaning about it for christ’s sake.
That's the issue with all super hero stories I guess. Daredevil was the worst offender. Organised criminal ninjas and all he can do is punch them.
Anyway, I just watched Bad Boys 2, for the first time, and it was a ton of fun. Dumb entertainment but I'm happy with that.
Anyway, I just watched Bad Boys 2, for the first time, and it was a ton of fun. Dumb entertainment but I'm happy with that.
Y’know, during my catch up on superhero films, I then watched Black Adam and was pleasantly surprised how much The Rock didn’t give a flying fuck about killing folks. And, well, I quite enjoyed myself too. Until the final act which is as piss poor as it gets. The list of superhero cliches was outstanding: sky beam, CG swarm of enemies, entirely CG villain etc. It literally falls apart before your eyes. Oh and it has token “child” that is fucking annoying throughout.
Blue Beatle and Black Adam: 5/10 apiece
Blue Beatle and Black Adam: 5/10 apiece
The best thing about both of those was that they weren't too long. For a while superhero movies were over two and a half hours long.
Ghost Rider and Blade 2 are still the best modern-ish ones.
Ghost Rider and Blade 2 are still the best modern-ish ones.
I finally got around to watching Top Gun: Maverick.
Plot was entirely predictable, cliche ridden and some of the flying sequences were probably aerodynamically impossible in parts. I fast forwarded through the last 10 or so minutes when I couldn't take it any more.
Plot was entirely predictable, cliche ridden and some of the flying sequences were probably aerodynamically impossible in parts. I fast forwarded through the last 10 or so minutes when I couldn't take it any more.
Hey Mr BanHammer! Haven't seen you around for a while!
Someone wake @Grim... up!
Top Gun Maverick was GREAT
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Jesus fucking christ
Fucking
Unbelievable, Geoff.
Giphy "are you not entertained?":
https://media0.giphy.com/media/rvaQRHCzisFeo/giphy-loop.mp4
That's meant to be a rhetorical question. Scenes.
https://media0.giphy.com/media/rvaQRHCzisFeo/giphy-loop.mp4
That's meant to be a rhetorical question. Scenes.
I can see that I've lost the audience here.
Watched the new Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F on Wednesday evening.
I was very pleasantly surprised -- sure, there's a few parts that clearly pander to the nostalgia nerds that just want to be reminded of the 80s all the time, and they re-use pretty much every song from the original movies, but it had a decent plot, a good villain, some great new characters (particularly Axel's daughter and Bobby, the character played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who's clearly the 'new' Billy character), the comedy never felt particularly forced and it was good to see Judge Reinhold, John Ashton and Paul Reiser reprise their roles (time has *not* been kind to Judge Reinhold, though!)
750 bananas (in tailpipes, brother)
I was very pleasantly surprised -- sure, there's a few parts that clearly pander to the nostalgia nerds that just want to be reminded of the 80s all the time, and they re-use pretty much every song from the original movies, but it had a decent plot, a good villain, some great new characters (particularly Axel's daughter and Bobby, the character played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who's clearly the 'new' Billy character), the comedy never felt particularly forced and it was good to see Judge Reinhold, John Ashton and Paul Reiser reprise their roles (time has *not* been kind to Judge Reinhold, though!)
750 bananas (in tailpipes, brother)
Hitman on Netflix is a good slice of entertainment and the main actorman in it is handsome cool and charming.
Atlas is very predictable tale of 'hater of new tech (in this case, AI) somehow learns to accept and trust it'. J-LO is not very good in this and I don't remember much of it apart from a scene right at the end where she is wearing a very tight pair of leggings.
National Treasure is just as much a silly but enjoyable mild adventure as it was twenty years ago. Apart from the old school mobile phones, the thing that dated it the most was how long and baggy in the legs the characters jeans were. Kids enjoyed it.
Agree, and yet it was so AWESOME that I watched it again a week or so later with the kids and it was still really exciting, and now the kids new kid-obsession is fighter jets.
You.... what....
Atlas is very predictable tale of 'hater of new tech (in this case, AI) somehow learns to accept and trust it'. J-LO is not very good in this and I don't remember much of it apart from a scene right at the end where she is wearing a very tight pair of leggings.
National Treasure is just as much a silly but enjoyable mild adventure as it was twenty years ago. Apart from the old school mobile phones, the thing that dated it the most was how long and baggy in the legs the characters jeans were. Kids enjoyed it.
Warhead wrote:
I finally got around to watching Top Gun: Maverick.
Plot was entirely predictable, cliche ridden and some of the flying sequences were probably aerodynamically impossible in parts.
Plot was entirely predictable, cliche ridden and some of the flying sequences were probably aerodynamically impossible in parts.
Agree, and yet it was so AWESOME that I watched it again a week or so later with the kids and it was still really exciting, and now the kids new kid-obsession is fighter jets.
Quote:
I fast forwarded through the last 10 or so minutes when I couldn't take it any more.
You.... what....
In a Violent Nature - imagine a standard Friday the 13th set up. Kids camping/in a cabin, unkillable Jason type of character going after them. Well, it's that but the camera is on the killer for most of the time. The downside is that there's a LOT of walking but the horror elements are done really well (lots of gross practical effects).
Not a massive spoiler but I'll tag it nonetheless
A generous 3.5/5 but a few tweaks and it could have been a 4.
Not a massive spoiler but I'll tag it nonetheless
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
A generous 3.5/5 but a few tweaks and it could have been a 4.
My local cinema has both Jaws and Back To The Future showing this week.
It's been a long time since I've watched either, and I've never seen Jaws on the big screen
It's been a long time since I've watched either, and I've never seen Jaws on the big screen
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Hitman on Netflix is a good slice of entertainment and the main actorman in it is handsome cool and charming.
Atlas is very predictable tale of 'hater of new tech (in this case, AI) somehow learns to accept and trust it'. J-LO is not very good in this and I don't remember much of it apart from a scene right at the end where she is wearing a very tight pair of leggings.
National Treasure is just as much a silly but enjoyable mild adventure as it was twenty years ago. Apart from the old school mobile phones, the thing that dated it the most was how long and baggy in the legs the characters jeans were. Kids enjoyed it.
Agree, and yet it was so AWESOME that I watched it again a week or so later with the kids and it was still really exciting, and now the kids new kid-obsession is fighter jets.
You.... what....
Atlas is very predictable tale of 'hater of new tech (in this case, AI) somehow learns to accept and trust it'. J-LO is not very good in this and I don't remember much of it apart from a scene right at the end where she is wearing a very tight pair of leggings.
National Treasure is just as much a silly but enjoyable mild adventure as it was twenty years ago. Apart from the old school mobile phones, the thing that dated it the most was how long and baggy in the legs the characters jeans were. Kids enjoyed it.
Warhead wrote:
I finally got around to watching Top Gun: Maverick.
Plot was entirely predictable, cliche ridden and some of the flying sequences were probably aerodynamically impossible in parts.
Plot was entirely predictable, cliche ridden and some of the flying sequences were probably aerodynamically impossible in parts.
Agree, and yet it was so AWESOME that I watched it again a week or so later with the kids and it was still really exciting, and now the kids new kid-obsession is fighter jets.
Quote:
I fast forwarded through the last 10 or so minutes when I couldn't take it any more.
You.... what....
I'm sorry, there's no accounting for taste, is there?
Bad Boys 3. Pretty solid. I evaluate these films on four criteria really. They are buddy cop action comedies so...
The buddy stuff is as irritating as ever. The constant bickering.
The cop stuff is just as ridiculous as ever but the use of modern tech makes it more interesting.
The action is good when it happens but there's not enough of it. It's a lot less action-packed than BB2.
The comedy was actually surprising. Martin Lawrence has never seemed funny to me at all but he's funny in this, more so than the previous two films.
It definitely made me dumber for watching it but it was unashamedly fun in an old fashioned kind of way.
The buddy stuff is as irritating as ever. The constant bickering.
The cop stuff is just as ridiculous as ever but the use of modern tech makes it more interesting.
The action is good when it happens but there's not enough of it. It's a lot less action-packed than BB2.
The comedy was actually surprising. Martin Lawrence has never seemed funny to me at all but he's funny in this, more so than the previous two films.
It definitely made me dumber for watching it but it was unashamedly fun in an old fashioned kind of way.
Abigail. Fun horror comedy. I won't give away the premise but I can recommend the film.
People talk about the golden age of horror films being a long time ago. I've definitely been guilty of that. But I love this era. There are so many good indie horror films out there that all have their own spin on the genre.
People talk about the golden age of horror films being a long time ago. I've definitely been guilty of that. But I love this era. There are so many good indie horror films out there that all have their own spin on the genre.
“Fly me to the moon” is excellent. The trailer makes it look more of a rom-com than it actually is.
There’s plenty of humour with the romance firmly a B plot, with the backdrop of the space program to frame it all.
It’s coming to Apple TV before long, and is down to a single showing a day after the first week at the cinema.
There’s plenty of humour with the romance firmly a B plot, with the backdrop of the space program to frame it all.
It’s coming to Apple TV before long, and is down to a single showing a day after the first week at the cinema.
I’m watching The Quiet Place: Day One. It’s still playing in the cinema. It’s not good. I can’t see what the fuck is going on…
Well, that was utterly terrible. Too much shaky cam, too dark, little tension, just some terrible deaths (like, actually shit. EVERY. SINGLE. KILL. Is the same as the kid from the first film - a very quick shot of someone getting thrown out of view by a blurry alien. Every time.) and despite being “day one” very little of the actual alien invasion is even shown.
It had littlw understanding of what made the original film such a masterclass of horror and couldn’t deliver on the terror of an alien invasion in a city. Avoid this rubbish.
It had littlw understanding of what made the original film such a masterclass of horror and couldn’t deliver on the terror of an alien invasion in a city. Avoid this rubbish.
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
“Fly me to the moon” is excellent. The trailer makes it look more of a rom-com than it actually is.
There’s plenty of humour with the romance firmly a B plot, with the backdrop of the space program to frame it all.
It’s coming to Apple TV before long, and is down to a single showing a day after the first week at the cinema.
There’s plenty of humour with the romance firmly a B plot, with the backdrop of the space program to frame it all.
It’s coming to Apple TV before long, and is down to a single showing a day after the first week at the cinema.
Yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed it - and figured it must be on a limited release when I saw the "Apple Films" at the beginning, but it worked on the big screen, especially for the big rockets and the scale of the hangars etc.
That thumbnail suggests that Michael Gove was in Aliens.
Satsuma wrote:
I’m watching The Quiet Place: Day One. It’s still playing in the cinema. It’s not good. I can’t see what the fuck is going on…
Satsuma, I don't doubt that AQP:D1 is probably as gash as the last one but were you BeeXing during the film in the cinema?
Blucey wrote:
Satsuma wrote:
I’m watching The Quiet Place: Day One. It’s still playing in the cinema. It’s not good. I can’t see what the fuck is going on…
Satsuma, I don't doubt that AQP:D1 is probably as gash as the last one but were you BeeXing during the film in the cinema?
Yup. I went for a piss and could barely be arsed to go back in to watch the end.
Twisters was exciting and fun, and the surrounding sound during the stormy bits was excellent.
It moved along at a good pace, with an ever so slightly twee and predictable ending but overall I really enjoyed it, far more than I was expecting to. Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
It moved along at a good pace, with an ever so slightly twee and predictable ending but overall I really enjoyed it, far more than I was expecting to. Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Hitman on Netflix is a good slice of entertainment and the main actorman in it is handsome cool and charming.
Some more things for you to watch. NOT ALONE, YOU ARE NOT TRUSTED.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1412974/
We then watched Geostorm, which suffered heavily from the 'have we seen this before but just can't remember it?' feeling.
It was fine but forgettable and I did doze off once or twice. The actress playing the impossibly-good-shot hot secret service girlfriend is very pretty. It's not bad but it's not good either, it's just very average and considering it's all about a world ending catastrophe I didn't really feel much tension, excitement or sense of any real peril.
It was fine but forgettable and I did doze off once or twice. The actress playing the impossibly-good-shot hot secret service girlfriend is very pretty. It's not bad but it's not good either, it's just very average and considering it's all about a world ending catastrophe I didn't really feel much tension, excitement or sense of any real peril.
We then watched Geostorm, which suffered heavily from the 'have we seen this before but just can't remember it?' feeling.
It was fine but forgettable and I did doze off once or twice. The actress playing the impossibly-good-shot hot secret service girlfriend is very pretty. It's not bad but it's not good either, it's just very average and considering it's all about a world ending catastrophe I didn't really feel much tension, excitement or sense of any real peril.
It was fine but forgettable and I did doze off once or twice. The actress playing the impossibly-good-shot hot secret service girlfriend is very pretty. It's not bad but it's not good either, it's just very average and considering it's all about a world ending catastrophe I didn't really feel much tension, excitement or sense of any real peril.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
suffered heavily from the 'have we seen this before but just can't remember it?' feeling.
I just had this same feeling…
Twisters is really good fun on a huge screen. Daisy Edgar-Jones and Glenn Campbell have so much charisma and personality, and the plot moves along nicely.
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
Twisters is really good fun on a huge screen. Daisy Edgar-Jones and Glenn Campbell have so much charisma and personality, and the plot moves along nicely.
All of this. Surprised me a bit - wasn't sure picking this over Despicable Me #anotherone was right - by holding me throughout.
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Twisters was exciting and fun, and the surrounding sound during the stormy bits was excellent.
It moved along at a good pace, with an ever so slightly twee and predictable ending but overall I really enjoyed it, far more than I was expecting to. Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
It moved along at a good pace, with an ever so slightly twee and predictable ending but overall I really enjoyed it, far more than I was expecting to. Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
I liked Twisters. Hangman is Hangman
Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey 2.
Not great.
Not great.
GazChap wrote:
That thumbnail suggests that Michael Gove was in Aliens.
This one suggests he is an alien
Cras wrote:
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Twisters was exciting and fun, and the surrounding sound during the stormy bits was excellent.
It moved along at a good pace, with an ever so slightly twee and predictable ending but overall I really enjoyed it, far more than I was expecting to. Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
It moved along at a good pace, with an ever so slightly twee and predictable ending but overall I really enjoyed it, far more than I was expecting to. Glen Powell plays the handsome and charming charismatic part very well.
I liked Twisters. Hangman is Hangman
Yeah, I don’t think he’s a particularly great actor, but if they keep casting him for roles like this it doesn’t matter.
We paid 135 bucks for five tickets to Despicable Me 4 at a big chain cinema in the suburbs (not our usual charming little local small town family-run cinema). Add in some popcorn and 3 ice creams and I felt a bit like I'd been mugged.
but it turns out that the high ticket cost was because it was in a 'V-Max' screen which is apparently better because the room is FUCKING HUGE and the screen is really big, and the chairs are really big and possibly it's all a bit too big (or at least, that's what she said).
The film was fun but simple. I think it is possibly the first Despicable Me film that I've ever actually sat all the way through. It had some comedy elements riffing on films that would seem very old to kids, and some musical numbers that again, are very old songs
(Relatively speaking - they don't, or didn't, seem that old to me until i counted the years, but to my troop of kids would seem pretty damn old)
but it turns out that the high ticket cost was because it was in a 'V-Max' screen which is apparently better because the room is FUCKING HUGE and the screen is really big, and the chairs are really big and possibly it's all a bit too big (or at least, that's what she said).
The film was fun but simple. I think it is possibly the first Despicable Me film that I've ever actually sat all the way through. It had some comedy elements riffing on films that would seem very old to kids, and some musical numbers that again, are very old songs
(Relatively speaking - they don't, or didn't, seem that old to me until i counted the years, but to my troop of kids would seem pretty damn old)
Tarot.
A mostly disliked modern horror film that I absolutely enjoyed. Good premise, decent horror and doesn't mess up the ending.
A mostly disliked modern horror film that I absolutely enjoyed. Good premise, decent horror and doesn't mess up the ending.
Deadpool and Wolverine is outstanding. Go and see it before you get spoiled.
