Nope, a duel between les infants terribles.

Seize Them was clearly made on a very low budget but made us laugh quite a bit.

Aimee Lou Wood could do a fine live action version of Bean from disenchantment.

My ex is in Sieze Them, shaking a pitchfork in the background. Apparently Jessica Hynes is lovely and Nick Frost is an absolute chuffing unit.

I'm glad to hear that about Jessica Hynes as I've had a crush on her for a long time.

This was very much my feelings on the matter.

oh that looks good...

Poor Things is weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeird.

We are in agreement.

Road House. I've never seen the original, or I might have thought this a bit pointless. As it is, it's fun. Connor McGregor is terrifying and looks like he's having fun. Frankly, who'd stop him? Jake Gueeelenhaaala is buff and convincing and it all rolls by prettily. I managed to only say "Road house!" in my best Peter Griffin voice a few times.

I'm going to watch the original some time soon and test my hypothesis.

I rented Roadhouse (the original) from Selecta Video (which closed a couple of years after Blockbusters opened up around the corner) in the early 90s.

I don't think I've watched it again since then, and I can't really remember much about what happened in it, I had heard bad things about the remake, so I have not gone out of my way to watch it.

I am not sure I added much to the conversation here, sorry.

Expend4bles

Oh my god, the first 45 minutes are absolutely shit.

Obvious stunt doubles, bits where it looks like they had to think about what the next line was, poor dialogue, shocking CGI, awful acting, editing and direction.

It gets better in the second half, but not by much.



Unless that appeals to you, then I wouldn't bother, it felt like An Asylum level film, (Sharknado, Atlantic Rim, etc) but with actual proper actors.

Civil War

Fucking hell. No, seriously, I mean it. Fucking. Hell. An incredible movie, and one that should act as a stark warning. I was on the edge of my seat for pretty much the whole runtime, and there's one scene in particular that just... the tension was off the fucking charts.

Went to see Terminator 2 at the cinema tonight, and it’s still awesome 33 years on.

Fucking hell.

I'm not spoilering this, because no-one should watch it. No really, you shouldn't watch it.

Rebel moon 2 doubles down on mashing together stolen tropes and pastiches (it genuinely rips off Aliens and Alien Resurrection final scenes for its final scenes, having run out Star Wars) and somehow Netflix still let Snyder end with trying to set up a third part.

This has to be the end of his career, it's almost the worst film I've ever watched. Scratch that. I can't think of a worse film I've ever watched.

Well now I want to watch it.

Hey, I ain't no Satsuma!

It took me 3 sittings to get through the first part of it.

Man alive Expend4bles is fucking terrible. The dialogue is hilariously bad, the cast has no chemistry whatsoever and the whole film appears to have been made on more green screens than the Star Wars prequels.

I’m sure I watched a leaked version of one of the Expendables where the CG hadn’t been done properly. It’s like watching that again.

I don’t know how you get the lead guy from The Raid (soz I don’t know his name) and Tony Jaa and just don’t fucking use them either! And why 50 Cent is here, I don’t know. Maybe to get clearance on the one time they used his song?!

Christ, the action is awful (apart from a few Jason Statham bits, mind) and this can’t even lick John Wick’s boots. And the end? The fucking end. Jesus pissing Christ. It was coming a mile off. My eyeballs rolling in their sockets were probably audible to my neighbours mowing the lawn outside.

Mind you, Megan Fox’s lack of a bra in a white vest kinda made up for the 1 hour and 40 minutes wasted.

Oh and I watched Palm Spring with Andy Samburg. It’s a Groundhog Day rip off that’s good for 40 minutes and then it’s shit. The love interest literally learns quantum physics. All of it.

I had a quick look on Wikipedia, and Stallone was involved with the directing/writing of the first 3 films, but not this last one, I have no idea if that contributes to how awful the film is.

The critical drinker is way too generous.

That was a stunningly good bit of cinema. Absolutely perfect from start to finish. I think I stopped breathing for about an hour.

Very effective use of music, too.

I’ve watched Civil War too. I don’t know what you lot were watching but I thought it was poorly paced, had shit CG and I didn’t buy Tony Starks motivation.

Ho ho, only kidding, it was seriously excellent. My kind of thing through and through. I’m not sure it was worth the IMAX price of admission… although the loud noises scarred the piss out of audience and made me jump on a couple of occasions. It did look gorgeous though. It had a no frills beauty and framing.

Couple of things though. Man alive, was the soundtrack fucking GREAT! There weren’t many songs but each one really elevated each sequence they accompanied and drove it forward like a fucking truck.

But the one problem I had with it was the young photographer. I’m not sure the actress was the right choice for a variety of reasons although she gave a decent performance. But I just didn’t like how cliche the corridor fight at the end was. Everything before that was so grounded and realistic and that felt contrived. I’d have been much happier if that shoot out ended with some kind of sudden unexpected violence rather than



Anyway, it just rubbed me up the wrong way ever so slightly in what was otherwise a thoroughly excellent film that I hope gets remembered around Oscar time. There’s plenty to celebrate here.

And that ending was so fucking satisfying. I sat watching the titles roll to see the photograph developed. Really clever stuff.

The same actress is going to be in Alien: Romulus, and I'm cautiously optimistic.

Did my 1st sitting of Rebel Moon pt2 last night. 40 mins of not right much.

Money Plane: knows what it is,.entertaining enough

Legend: thinks it is way cooler than it is, Hardy does a decent job. Watch Money Plane instead.

Saw X is a movie.

I’ve seen some saying “it’s the best since Saw 2!!!” and “ZOMG it’s more focussed on Jigsaw as a character and explores his motivations and it’s not really about the killings!!!!”

All a crock of shit. It’s poorly acted, boring, trite nonsense. It’s the usual fare but all the deaths are at the end…Like, a fucking hour into the thing. It’s not really creative either and just a bit shit. Mind you, the two actual death machines are squimishly funny…well, not the torture but the reaction of the actors.

Overall: one bag of shit.

Watched The Outwaters on Shudder last night. A found footage film where a bunch of new age hippy types go to the desert to shoot a video and things go all nasty.

There is a kernel of a good film in here but this isn't it...and it doesn't need nearly two hours to tell it, honestly a tight 80 minutes would have sufficed. Some nice visuals and un-nerving moments in it (the screaming worms being a standout) but not enough to recommend it. Having said that, the song 'Red Hands' that plays over the end credits is a belter.

I’m off to see The Phantom Menace at the cinema tonight. 25 years since it came out, and 25.3 years since I first saw it courtesy of a pirate copy on VHS.

I was working at Tandy at the time, and used some of the store’s VCRs to make a few copies.

Late Night with the Devil was entertaining and didn't outstay its welcome.

Host is still my favorite Shudder movie, though.

Host is brilliant.

I’ve stopped and started J.Lo sci-fi flick Atlas 3 fucking times now. I just can’t get into it despite it being so shit that I want to watch the lot to moan about how shit it is.

I also watched Minion: The Rise of Gru. That was pretty good.

I also watched Fist of the North Star. That still FUCKING ROCKS. I think I’ll get back into the old anime films.

Not a film but One Punch Man season 2 was decent as well.

But Kengan Ashura is my fucking jam! It’s an anime series about people fighting each other and it’s some cold ass shit.

I watched The Land of Saints & Sinners with Liam Nieson in it. My dad said “ooh watch this, it’s Irish Taken”. It was not. And it’s a bit boring.

I couldn’t do 20 minutes of Prime’s Ricky Stanicky with John Cena. Urgh, that was absolutely dreadful.

I watched Fall Guy at the flicks as well. That was a fun time. Bit brainless, but had some decent comedy moments.

And that’s some stuff I’ve watched. Now to go back and try and finish Atlas. Or was it Atlus? …

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga is not as batshit insane action-wise as Fury Road, but it is certainly epic.

Hemsworth is a delight, ATJ is also pretty good (although she doesn't have an awful lot to work with, it has to be said!) and the sheer scale of the world-building that George Miller does throughout this movie is incredible.

8/10.

I’d agree with most of that, though it was twenty minutes too long.

Oh my god, it got worse. Absolutely terrible dogshit.

Oddly, I didn't like Fury Road all that much. I saw it in the cinema and haven't watched it since but at all I remember was that it was just cars bouncing off a truck in a desert for what felt like four hours. I should probably give it another go though.

I agree

Well, it's been a while.

Challengers. People drama set between tennis players. I half-heard Kermode's review, something along the lines of Zendaya stealing all attention as soon as she appears, and that's definitely right. They do something very simple but very clever with the crowd in the first shot of the tennis match this revolves around that makes her centrality obvious. Then I lost the thread of it, probably because I watched it in stages over several days. There are some overlong sex scenes that seem pointless, and a lot of to-ing and fro-ing (that would have been better with more attention). And we cut endlessly from the match to the history.

But it sticks the landing. There are funky but meaningful (I argue) changes of perspective, including a long bit from the pov of the tennis ball. And a whole load of interpersonal resolution done with pauses, looks, and smiles, which feels fresh for being on a tennis court. Absolutely loved the ending, and the final couple of seconds are ambiguous - fury? happiness?

Godzilla Minus One has just arrived on Netflix for anyone who’s not seen it or wants a rewatch.

I quite liked that. I love monster films with lots of destruction and it definitely scratched that itch but I struggled with how much human story was in it, especially as I find Japanese acting to be difficult to take seriously given their tendency to really overact.

But with that said, I literally just finished Godzilla v Kong: The New Empire.

It's kind of like AvP's setting but a million times more stupid with Prometheus' writing/character development/science. It's quite something when Kong ends up being the most well-written character in the film. And despite the title, this is Kong's film. Godzilla shows up but not nearly enough. That said, they keep the human stuff to a minimum (which is good because literally every scene with humans is terrible in some way) and so the pace is pretty good.

It's fun in a way but also a film that I almost felt embarrassed to be watching. Like, I'm almost fifty and I'm watching this dumb shit (and I generally am fine with having unrefined taste in movies). And usually just having a lot of monster v monster action is enough but this was probably as dumb as a film can get while still being watchable. Like, I hated and liked it in equal measure.

Minus One was better, that's for sure.

I watched that Godzilla: Minus One. That’s exactly the rating I’d give it an’ all, aye? Bag of shit.

Actually, it was pretty “alright” insofar as these movies go. I actually didn’t mind the human element at all and was mildly invested. Well, as far as someone can be when they’re just waiting for the CG monster to start fucking shit up.

And the CG was pretty decent too. I especially liked that Godzilla looked like a dude in a rubber suit. It got a reet decent chuckle out of me. And his heat blast was awesome! When he levels a city…wow that was great. I think superhero films have got to be shitting in their pants when you see that level of awesome destruction.

But, as with most of these films, there’s not enough of that and there’s far much space between the bits you’ve come to see. It’s a difficult balance, mind, and your interest in the “story” will probably determine whether you’ll be fidgeting with your phone or no.

Overall, it’s pretty alright.

Saw X was weird. The pacing was off. Like nothing happens for ages and then lots happens and then it absolutely fumbles the ending in the worst way.

I liked the idea of it though. Making John some sort of anti-hero.

Best since Saw 2? Well, Saw 6 is way better than Saw 2, so that's an odd statement.

I think one of the best saw reviews I ever saw was on here. Someone said that Saw 8 should be real time footage of someone in a cage being made to watch Saw 7. I've stolen that line a bunch of times.

The problem with Fury Road was that it all blended into one thing.

If you compare it to, say, Aliens then this becomes an issue. If you turn over the TV and Aliens is on, you immediately know where you're at. The meal scene, the prep scene, the initial sweep of Hadley's Hope, the bit where they are camped out in the medical area etc etc.

If you see a bit of Fury Road, it will most likely be someone in a vehicle shouting somewhere in a desert. You could be anywhere in the movie. It's exhausting viewing.

Admittedly I was in THE LOUDEST CINEMA IN THE WORLD while my arse was going numb but there was a point about an hour in where I had a sudden realisation that I was just bored. I wasn't hating the film, I'd just had enough of it.

I too watched Godzilla -1 over the weekend and to my mind the more I think about it, this is what should have won the best picture Oscar this year...Was there a better film last year? I don't think so. Did Oppenheimer have a giant monster with atomic breath? Well technically yes, but it wasn't as good as the walking metaphor for atomic weapons. Especially loved the use of the originals score.

The best thing I’ve seen at the cinema for quite some time. I loved it.

Look, I’m vaguely into the Hunger Games films and enjoyed them for what they were (well, the first one really), but I’ve tried to watch the new Hunger Games film and…Lord, it’s terrible. I knew something was amiss when they pick the people to fight to the death and the lead just…starts having a sing song. I’ve managed an hour but I’m done with it. Everything that made the first film an alright watch isn’t there.

I didn't think it was that bad, except that there's a vaguely satisfying film that ends... then there's another hour.

On the forum I run we shamelessly stole the Finish 52 thread idea. Also applied it to films. I'm currently up to 32.

Last five.

28 - Southern Comfort (1981) - One of my favourite films. It still holds up. Great cast, superb music.
29 - Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) - I gave it 3.5/5 on Letterboxd. It was fun but felt like the main characters were playing on God Mode. There was almost zero jeopardy or tension in the whole thing.
30 - Sting (2024) - a mix of Alien and Evil Dead Rise (in terms of the setting). Pretty weak CGI let this one down but it was watchable. Apart from it doing the thing that so many modern films do which is to have a female teen character who is unbelievably surly.
31 - Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire - not enough Godzilla but Kong carries the action well. The plot is the dumbest thing I've ever watched. It was more stupid than Alien: Covenant. All the human characters were awful.
32 - Bad Boys (1995) - I love me some mid-90s action nonsense. Had never seen this before. It is what you'd expect really. A clone of Lethal Weapon. It's an action-comedy buddy cop movie and in terms of those four elements; the action is good, the comedy is stupid, the cop stuff is so unrealistic that it's jarring and the buddy stuff is poorly written. The action carries it to a 3/5 score for me.