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Should've left Eternals on the "MCU films I haven't seen" pile - and I've even seen Incredible Hulk.

It is, somehow, an even worse Jupiter's Legacy than Jupiter's Legacy.
Watched The Batman again. Still just as good the second time around.

Also took out a Limitless subscription for Odeon, which I'm going to be popping the cherry of this Friday evening with Operation Mincemeat and Fantastic Beasts: Secrets of Dumbledore back-to-back. The latter wouldn't have been my first choice, but my first choice (The Northman) wasn't showing until an hour after I get out of Mincemeat, and I can't be arsed to wait around like that.
I’m watching Moonfall.

Not-Chris Pratt is not Chris Pratt. Honest. IMDb confirms it. But that doesn’t stop me thinking Not-Chris Pratt is Chris Pratt.

Hallie Berry is also not Jada Pinkett. She also hasn’t got very good dialogue. The child actors are also fucking dreadful and are probably related to someone on set since they gave very little thought as to who delivers such great dialogue as “Are we going to die, mommy?”
Oh and the aliens are the typical swirling mass of black CGI. Fuck the black mass of swirling CGI shit.

The CG isn’t too bad though for a disaster flick but it’s no 2012 or whatever that film with Jake Gyllygillyhallballs was in with the super frost…it’s more that shit film with the guy who isn’t Matthew Broderick in it, y’know that one where there’s earthquakes and he’s driving a car or a plane through it. Fuck I’m terrible with names and remembering things.

Sam fucking Tarly is in this though (oh that name I can bloody remember suddenly) and he’s, well, Sam Tarly again. If it works for Jason Statham I guess.
An hour into this and the film switches from realistic-ish to futuristic all of a sudden.

It’s also gone dumb as fuck.

Out of nowhere someone shouts “GRAVITY WAVE”. Like people know what the fuck that is. Then someone outruns this GRAVITY WAVE in a car. Well I say outruns, but the wave is 2 ft behind the car and then in the next scene the GRAVITY WAVE has mysteriously disappeared.

Someone also said the following phrase with a straight-face: “The military will use everything at their disposal to take out the moon.”
“We’re inside the moon”
“That might be the greatest sentence anyone has ever said”

This is actually happening.
I loved Moonfall.
There’s now a car chase that will probably be what Fast and the Furious becomes in the next film.
I bet you could do a character swap and this could actually be a Fast & Furious movie.

“Dom is up there inside the Moon.”
“We’ve got to outrun the moon before we die though as it’s going to crash into LA”
“But he’s family”
Tyrese kisses Ludacris
“Punch it!”
They drive at the moon

Etc.

I’d probably watch it.
Christ almighty the story of the moon robots said “AI” and “nanotechnology” so often that I thought I’d had a stroke.

Seriously, this story has become so fucking dumb it’s amazing this is an actual film that people invested money to get made.

Who looked at this line of dialogue and thought yeah that’ll do: “The moon must survive. Our future depends on it. The swarm is suffocating the moon’s power source.”

I’m just done. Just so fucking done with dumb as shit films.

But I’ll watch till the end to see what stupid shit happens. That’s how they pull you in, dammit.
“Sunny, the moon is going to help us!”

Which, to be fair, it kinda did, for a moment, but then it tried to kill them because, y’know, the Moon was just rolling along the earth like a fucking bowling ball.
Moonfall conclusion:

I’ve a feeling this will be “so bad it’s good” to some people but for most it’ll be instantly forgot about until someone says in conversation “Remember that shit movie about the fucking moon?”

Remember when they told Sam from Game of Thrones…

“We’ve scanned your consciousness. You’re part of the moon now.””
Satsuma wrote:

The CG isn’t too bad though for a disaster flick but it’s no 2012 or whatever that film with Jake Gyllygillyhallballs was in with the super frost…it’s more that shit film with the guy who isn’t Matthew Broderick in it, y’know that one where there’s earthquakes and he’s driving a car or a plane through it. Fuck I’m terrible with names and remembering things.


Ok I’ve looked it up, it was The Day After Tomorrow with the super frost and 2012 with John Cush-something. That guy.
Satsuma wrote:
y’know, the Moon was just rolling along the earth like a fucking bowling ball.


Did the scene really play out that way? Because you've made it sound dumb, and amazing, amazingly dumb and I think I want to see it now :facepalm:
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Satsuma wrote:
y’know, the Moon was just rolling along the earth like a fucking bowling ball.


Did the scene really play out that way? Because you've made it sound dumb, and amazing, amazingly dumb and I think I want to see it now :facepalm:


You should, it's great!
Sir Taxalot wrote:
Satsuma wrote:
y’know, the Moon was just rolling along the earth like a fucking bowling ball.


Did the scene really play out that way? Because you've made it sound dumb, and amazing, amazingly dumb and I think I want to see it now :facepalm:


Unfortunately, yeah pretty much!
I had added Moonfall to my list of "much watch films" thanks to this page
After the unexpectedly fun and enjoyable first Sonic film, the kids have been bugging us to see Sonic 2, so last night we went out for dinner and then to the cinema.

It was really good, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Jim Carrey looked like he was having a lot of fun, and Idris Elba's voice was a really good fit for Knuckles.

I went in expecting some light hearted entertainment, silly jokes and some call-backs to the games, and I wasn't disappointed. Expecting much more than that would probably be a mistake.
I'm seeing Sonic 2 today. I've already decided it's the best film ever.
I kind of want to see that new Nicholas Cage film where he plays himself as it sounds just stupid and funny
Mr Russell wrote:
I kind of want to see that new Nicholas Cage film where he plays himself as it sounds just stupid and funny


It looks absolutely superb
I did go and see Sonic 2 and I was right... It was great!
Watched The Batman over the weekend, oh my that felt a really long film. Put me in mind of a Goth Murder, She Wrote. Hmmm, Jessica Fletcher as Robin, now that's an idea.
Moonfall.

"This doesn't make any sense, Brian". The main, oldest kid, seems to be someone they've plucked from the street, who reads the lines like he hates them. It's sponsored by Kaspersky, appearing twice prominently. Those aren't close to the oddest things. And I got swept up in it and had a great time.
No Time To Die.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
WTF was that all about? Bond films used to be pretty much 'stand alone' but this follows on from the previous one, apparently, and I can't remember anything about it.
Perhaps more so with this one but they've been following on from each other ever since Daniel Craig's Casino Royale.
Should I watch Moonfall or Uncharted tomorrow night?
Sonic 2 is great. I was honking with laughter
I really enjoyed Sonic 2, except for some weirdo honking at all the jokes.
Giphy "honk":
https://media0.giphy.com/media/MTtw80dGI6pGxFaUsR/giphy-loop.mp4
Moonfall: fucking hell.
MaliA wrote:
Moonfall: fucking hell.


I know! Great isn't it?
Licorice Pizza. Knew very little about it going in, and that worked - though having heard about the odd Japanese sequences helped. The leads are fantastically good, it's just a story of stuff happening to young folk but I loved it - as much in some of the silences as in some crash-bangs of other films.
I watched a film: Spider-Uncharted

Where spider-man forgets his costume and goes on an adventure with Mark Whalberg of all people. Y’know what, I didn’t mind it at all. The endless backstabbing and twists were annoying but it was cool to see spider-man doing some gravity defying flips across crates from the only sequence in Uncharted 3 that anyone remembers.

Yeah, it’s a kinda pointless and light weight action romp but what would you rather have, a new pirates of the Caribbean? Exactly.
Last night, I thought I'd sit down and watch a film by myself for the first time in a while. After the beex seal of approval I chose Moonfall... Until I realised I would have to pay extra, so instead I went looking for something included 'free' in with the various monthly subscriptions we have.

So I chose Mindhorn, it looked entertaining from the trailer clips and had been sat in my list for ages. I think however the trailer showed a lot, maybe most, of the funny bits. It was an ok film but it also felt rather 'small screen-y'

Worth a watch if your list is almost empty. At 90 mins, its not long so it doesn't outstay it's welcome but also feels like it could've been cut down more. The lady that plays the love interest is staggeringly fine looking.
I watched Wheelman on Netflix the other night after reading a Guardian article singing it's praises. It was sort of okay, reasonably tense in parts. However I couldn't escape the feeling that a film about a getaway driver shot entirely from inside the car due to budgetary constraints was more than a bit unsatisfying.
I think I watched about 20 minutes of that, before giving up
Satsuma wrote:
I watched a film: Spider-Uncharted

Where spider-man forgets his costume and goes on an adventure with Mark Whalberg of all people. Y’know what, I didn’t mind it at all. The endless backstabbing and twists were annoying but it was cool to see spider-man doing some gravity defying flips across crates from the only sequence in Uncharted 3 that anyone remembers.

Yeah, it’s a kinda pointless and light weight action romp but what would you rather have, a new pirates of the Caribbean? Exactly.


Findus the Stupid only just went and searched for Spider Uncharted on IMDB, thinking it was a real film.
We watched Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one) with the kids and they enjoyed it. I'd forgotten that it was a good humoured and fun film. I guess the crappy lame sequels (well, the couple that I watched) tarnished the original in my eyes.
I watched a film!

Or 3! Well, more like 2 and a bit.

THE NORTHMAN

It’s fucking great. Great cinematography, violence, acting and all sorts. It’s a men (and women) film about men (and women) who are also vikings (and Viqueens).

SCREAM (2022)

It’s dreadful. A boring retread of the first film that’s also a sequel. God, it’s so painfully boring it made me physically uncomfortable in my seat as I struggled not to pick up my phone and live post about how shit it was. It lacks any of the charm and interest as the first film. The actors are terrible, the action is terrible and watching this after watching The Northman made me just want to watch The Northman again.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2

I didn’t get past the first 9 minutes. Seriously fucking shit. Those 9 minutes were excruciating. Sonic made me want to punch his fucking face in. The action sequence in the van was dreadful, boring, clichéd; poorly acted with awful “quips” that would make Vin Diesel wince in his flesh bag, comedy humans and a kid with an ice cream that made me want to hop into a time portal and euthanise his parents. And he was only in it for a couple of seconds! Looking like a fucking idiot from a cereal commercial from the 70’s after eating a bowl of delicious recycled paper. Hated it. Couldn’t watch it.
You know, I don't think you actually like movies, Sat
Although saying that, you're right about Scream, and Sonic 2 was so bland I don't remember any of it. So you may have a point
Nah, Sonic 2 is the best film ever! Right after Sonic 1.
TheVision wrote:
Nah, Sonic 2 is the best film ever! Right after Sonic 1.

Of course at the time they called it The Great Sonic.
After enjoying Pirates of the Caribbean of the first, we watched number 2 of PotC: forgotten subtitle (dead man's hand or something)

It was boring and the sealife baddies seemed like an interesting design for a few minutes and then boring for the rest. At some point part way through the film, I got up and went to the supermarket to do a big shop for the week. The bit with the Kraken destroying the ship was quite exciting. Kids enjoyed it, but they will enjoy any old mince.


Mr Russell wrote:
TheVision wrote:
Nah, Sonic 2 is the best film ever! Right after Sonic 1.

Of course at the time they called it The Great Sonic.


Major props :metul:

(I thoroughly enjoyed Sonic 2)
Satsuma wrote:

THE NORTHMAN

It’s fucking great. Great cinematography, violence, acting and all sorts. It’s a men (and women) film about men (and women) who are also vikings (and Viqueens).



I concur! Very good to look at and possibly also setting the record for number of blood sacrifices in a film.
Is anyone excited about top gun? I am excited about top gun. Mrs Fop is unwilling for us to take the kids to see it.
I have no interest in seeing it at all and haven’t seen the original, but how blinking beautiful does Jennifer Connelly look? How has she possibly just been refining over and over, finding some new kind of perfect since 1986?
She looks the same in Snowpiercer as she did in about 1986, she clearly drinks something's blood
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