Be Excellent To Each Other

Especially when you consider that the first rule of Craster's secret badger touching forum is "you don't talk about Craster's secret badger touching forum".

Who pays when you take Craster out Mr Chris?

Is it always the 'giver' who must cough up?

*spits coffee out*

Yeah, I'm always paying. And he eats like a horse.

@Dudley - you're not much on the comprehension today. Do I need to dimile it for you?

I'd say if one offers to pay, the other should:

a) offer to go halvsies
b) buy some drinks at the club or tickets to the movies or wherever you're going next
c) take off their underwear as they won't be needing it later, obv

I offer to pay no matter who I'm with.

There's no point having any money if you can't buy your bezzies/bezzyesses some booze and grub, non? Not that I ever have any money these days.

Wait a second. Last time I saw you, you bought lunch...

Only because I bought it the time before.

So, er, do you want to go first? Let me just get something to bite down on first.

If it's a first date then I always offer to pay the bill, and if this causes problems then I suggest that she can just get the next one or whatever, which implies there's going to be a second date, and is often the sort of cheeky presumptuousness that goes well for a bloke.

Also, on one particularly crucial evening out, I paid in advance in cash (rounding up by £30 or so on thought we could reasonably chuck down our throats), so that when the topic of the bill came up, the waiter said that it had already "been taken care of", which impressed her no end. I was lucky though, I can see that the topic of payment can be tricky these days.

(Edited to explain how I knew how much to pay.)

Side note: If the bill is to be split ALWAYS go for the dearest stuff on the menu.

Of course, in general, things should be split. But a first date is different, obv. I once got up to leave when the bill arrived, saying "We'll, this hasn't gone very well has it?" (it had gone quite well). The look on her face was priceless. I then sat down and said I was joking. Good test of sense of humour that one.

Another option missing from the poll:



Also, @Shin - Fnarrr!

Well, duh. This is why restarants often have a dish along the lines of lobster and foie gras in a saffron and truffle sauce.

This conversation is depressing me slightly. I haven't been on a proper date for about 2 years.

Weep.

[Kern creeps away to a corner and sobs quietly]

The evidence suggests otherwise.

Hugh, why don't you invite Kern out for meal?

Another question is when do you mention that you will pay?

If you suspect that your dining partner is a little light on funds then they may not actually get what they want, so a subtle 'Hey, it's my treat' may help. But then you don't want them not getting what they want because you're paying.

Can someone (Craster?) make an 'eating out' joke. Thanks

Hahaha - you said 'eating out'.

I don't like fish.

Relationships don't count! We're talking dates, first dates, here.

Because I'd feel socially awkward if he offered to pay.

MaliA says:

Pay, just slap down the Coutts card and the rest does itself.

OR

Pay, if questioned, smile and say, I'm sure it'll even out eventually because AND THIS IS THE IMPORTANT BIT: It forces the "Yes, i guess it does" answer. Which means you've sorted out a second date just like that.

OR

Make sure you can run faster than she can upon.

Take them to one of those equal-opportunities places where the lady's menu has no prices.



Why do I have the feeling I have garnered a reputation for crudity from somewhere?

50/50. If we're getting along well enough for either of us to actually want to pay for the whole thing, chances are ... well, chances are it'd be 50/50 anyway, either because we'd split each bill or each of us would end up paying for the lot according to cashflow and whim. If I invited someone out to a place, it's fairly likely I'd offer to pay if we got on at all well, simply because I'd have called it my treat and chosen a place I could afford, and all that jazz. I'd expect her to cough up just as often if we saw each other regularly too. Most of my friends are women, and to be perfectly honest I can't even remember who pays most of the time.

Men can offer to pay if they want. So can women. There's no "should" about it, except for that women should be willing and able to pay for their share if necessary, or relinquish the vote and get back in the kitchen and shut up.

my wife certainly wouldn''t like it

(although i have treated here, natch, but not on the first date)

I'm a firm believer in actual equality. I'll hold a door open for anyone of either sex and anyone who complains can about me being polite can fuck right off. Women shouldn't have lower retirement age. There is no such thing as positive discrimination. I wouldn't give up my seat on the train to a woman because she's a woman, I'll give it up to the bloke with the crutches or the 90 year old first and I believe that (amongst other places) the army allowing women to meet lower fitness targets to get in and not allowing them on the very front line is laughably absurd and insulting to all concerned.

This is probably why I'm single.

Do the Dutch say 'Shall we go English?'

I also believe in this.

Going English as far as the dutch are concerned probably involves bottling the waiter and running off without paying.

Youngish men often get up to offer me a seat on the tube (more so than buses) and I always say, 'I'm Ok, please, you sit down' but again, if they re-state their offer I smile and say thank you. Men often give me their umbrellas when I am alone and it is raining, too. This I find charming and quaint, and I have never sen it happen to anyone else, but it seems to always happen to me, right from when I was about 15 and on my way to school and getting soaked in an unexpected storm, and a really old man gave me an old but lovely umbrella he was using and wouldn't accept my refusal - I was more worried of him catching a chill than anything else, but still he insisted over and over). I don't know, it's things like that I don't understand but I find quite touching, and I always remember how grateful and touched I felt at these offers of kindness and caring.

I do not think that men should feel like they need to give their seats or umbrellas to women, but then I think that these offers of kindness have somehow enriched me, and maybe the people who offered. I also have never seen anyone else receive a mystery umbrella from a stranger in the rain, so maybe I just look particularly soppy when it is raining as it has happened to me at least four times that I can accurately recall.

That was a shit joke.

Heh - the little seen "crudité" joke.

Oi! Put that link back into your signature. That joke cost me £1!

It was worth every penny.

I can't remember the URL now....

http://www.fatmammasgivingmyoptikaagoodspanking.com/

I can't believe that this stupid forum won't let me edit your signature.

You guys are unbelievable

Ahem.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1951&p=102089&hilit=+I+KNOW+ALL+#p102089

Well, you asked for that.

Many things I may be, but I am not a Gaywood.

Many things I may be, but I am not a Gaywood.

You are, however, a double-posting muppet.

It was important enough it needed saying twice. Plus I need to up my post count to catch the Gaywood.

Yeah you keep that up.