Be Excellent To Each Other

If everything has to be completely true or completely false, then regarding the 'numbers' thing, he'd have to be COMPLETELY rubbish at numbers.

Or not have a peculiar talent for remembering numbers.

You don't have to go mad, but taking an event and changing it slightly to make it false isn't really cricket (I know that's not what's been suggested, I'm just making it clear). It's really hard to judge because you can't quantify it, but I'm sure you can use your judgement.

Fun, remember?

Ok, how about I elaborate on a story about doing a fashion show where I dressed up in World War 2 clothing for a local old peoples home charity. The night involved me getting to the venue early (an old stately home) and then when the time came, me and a few others paraded down the cat walk in clothing from world war 2 whilst a Winston Churchill impersonater did a speech. The funny thing about the evening is that my head is so big the wardens helmet had to kind of sit on top of my head making me look quite stupid. When it came time to dress as a spiv, there was no chance the hat would fit so it kind of rested on the back of my head. Also, one of the old blokes there shouted "get your hair cut" while I was doing the modelling.

Whilst I was there, I met a local news reader (Joanne Malin who it turns out, was having an affair at the time) and I met the gentleman who used to be the puppeteer for Sweep in the Sooty and Sweep show. He worked with Matthew, not Harry.

Isn't there only one liar?

Okay, Awesome Islanders! Here is task three!

In this task, three members of your team are going to tell us a story about an event they were present at or a talent they have or an interesting thing that no-one else knows about - but only one of the stories will be true. The opposing team will be able to ask questions about the stories, and then will have to guess which story is the true one.

Heeeeeeeeere's TASKMASTER!

In short, none of us have a bleeding clue!



I'm happy to go with whatever the team captain thinks.

I blame being out drinking until 1am, and then cycling home. Sort of.

Whilst i am not Lothario by any stretch of the imagination, when i was a younger (and fitter man) i found myself in a wonderful situation. I was living away from my parents for the first time, and was living in a rented house near Kingston Uni, being young free and single i enjoyed a active social life and since I was working full time for good monies I liked to splash out and act the 'city wanker' at times.

One evening i was lucky enough to have two very pretty friends (one of the girls was studying Sports science and i think the other was doing Journalism) over to my place, we were intending to go out but some wacky backy that I had soon put paid to that idea, we all chilled out and I put on some background music. As the evening progressed I was astounded to find these two lovely girls getting more amorous.

Being a young and very inexperienced lad I decided to turn it up a notch by adding candlelight into the mix, so after raiding all the tea candles and other candles under the kitchen sink the lights were dimmed and the room glowed beautifully. So picture the scene, the young hero is stretched out on the sofa with a beautiful lady curled up either side of him, he is kissing one whilst the other is nibbling his earlobe*. A strange warm sensation starts to spread up his leg which is hanging over the end of the sofa, which he puts to the back of his mind as he has much more pressing matters. His excitement is building, the idea of a threesome is whirling around in his head removing all other concerns. This is my main defence in the whole situation, what red blooded young male wouldn't feel the same.

A few minutes (may have been less), a few minutes of bliss, the moment was shattered, I jumped from the sofa, spilling one lady to the floor in the process, with a scream on my lips. I sounded like a five year old girl! But looking down the warn sensation had turned in to a raging torrent of agony, my leg had been suspended over a candle and was now on its way to cooked. I bolted for the shower and stood in the stream of water whimpering to myself.

Needless to say that spoiled the mood and both girls made excuses and left pretty soon after, to be fair to them they did want to take me to the hospital but i refused, so i spent a sad lonely embarrassed weekend on my own.

*What is up with that anyway? Just feels odd to me, not in the least sexual.