Be Excellent To Each Other

A thread in which to let us in on a little known fact about yourself.

I'll start:

I invented the word "munter".

I am allergic to the expression "Sweet As!"

I smell bullshit in the first post

It's true, dude. Literally true.

I think that's about as valid a claim as my suspicions that I inspired the lyric for The Streets song 'fit but you know it'. Quite possible but implausible.

Did you ever meet The Streets? If not I think you're overegging the "quite possible".

Look, I'm not saying someone else might not have invented the word as well, but I invented it first.

We were in the same clubs at the same time, and using the same things. It was a catchphrase of mine at that time, and 8 years later a song came out by that name. It's possible we spoke back in the day.

Nice backtracking there by the way.

My little-known fact is that I have a German girlfriend, believe it or not.

I used to work for a sex hotline sending texts to unsuspecting lonelies.

I am (was?) National IT User of the Year 2001.

I used to use a sex hot line, I got texts to my phone; they were hot.

I am actually only 4/5ths evil, and will, on occasion, show great kindness and humanity.

I am going to go and cook a burger for my evening meal.

I poisoned two of bobby's burgers.

I once knew a girl named sassy britches and I swear unto you it's her God given name.

Surely you only poisoned 1.6 of my burgers?

I am 4/5ths evil, not consistent.

She was running round town burning bridges.
Now my ride home's never quite the same.

I almost brought to market a salt called Keyser Sälty until I realised no one will buy salt based on an 18 year old movie reference.

Sometimes, i order pizzas to be delivered to mediums when they are performing at pubs.

For realsies?

I love you.

Mali lies and disappoints. Never love mali.

Hello MrsA!

1/5 however, he will do do something altruistic and amazing.

I bought my first real 6 string at Netto.

I don't even like shmups. It was a joke that got out of hand.

Ditto metal.

I've seen the Spice Girls AND Steps in concert.

I have seen Take That in concert three times.

This will surprise precisely nobody.

I once saw the Wurzels play on the same stage as the Cheeky Girls.

You kept this well hidden to stop me posting your personal photos at every opportunity.

Between the ages of 10 and 12 I sported a flattop hair do. Not shaved at the sides though. That would just be wrong.

I wore a shellsuit for exactly one day in 1991. Sadly, it was school photo day.

As I child I came up with ideas for extra concentrated fruit squash and petrol pumps you can put your card in to pay.

Ooh, ooh. I hade the idea for a VCR you could text a video plus code to and it would record your program for you.

I came up with the idea to change "Singing ey, ey, yippee, yippee ey" to "Singing ey, ey, yuppie, yuppie ey"

it was in the 80s, it was funny.

Malc

I invented Tipp-Ex.

For years I've found myself replacing the subject of the old campfire song 'Alice the Camel' with 'Alistair Campbell'.

I invented the cumulonimbus cloud.

In the year after Maggie Thatcher resigned from being PM I delivered her newspapers every Saturday (my brother did it Sunday to Friday)

Malc

Still makes me happy.

I'm having an affair.

We all know about you and Craster.

Hmm, okay then. I have real issues with people who touch my monitors when they're pointing something out, leaving their filthy fingerprints all over my screen.

Cunts.

I thought everyone had this issue?

I put the Ram in the Ram a lam a ding dong.

I also put the dong in at the end.

And it fucking loved it.

I know what you did last summer.

I'm 70% Thatcherite.

It was Dimrill.

I almost opened a Japanese restaurant called Keyser Süshi until I realised no one will buy Japanese food based on an 18 year old movie reference.