The Expendables 2

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:07

Now, you know I said after The Expendables they could stop cinema, because it was fucking done?

Well, I'm glad they didn't. CHUCK MOTHERFUCKING NORRIS!

I am most excited. I'm hoping that the new film will also be manly enough to make my dick grow an inch each time I watch it.

myp · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:09

Grim... wrote:

I'm hoping that the new film will also be manly enough to make my dick grow an inch each time I watch it.

You must really fancy Chuck Norris for it to grow that much!

I haven't seen the first one - I'm guessing my impression of the trailer being loads of action film hasbeens who should've already retired is incorrect?

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32624

myps pies wrote:

I'm guessing my impression of the trailer being loads of action film hasbeens who should've already retired is incorrect?

Nope.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

myps pies wrote:

I'm guessing my impression of the trailer being loads of action film hasbeens who should've already retired is incorrect?

Nope.

You shut up.

Also, might get more Arnie now he's retired from politics.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16639

The main problem with the first one wasn't so much the idea as the execution, it's just shockingly poor. Like watching a Steven Segal film.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Pish.

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

markg wrote:

The main problem with the first one wasn't so much the idea as the execution, it's just shockingly poor. Like watching a Steven Segal film.

I was prepared to take it as it was intended; tongue in cheek action romp with the cast themselves as the main gimmick. But as a film it was just so fucking awful that I'd completely switched off about a third of the way through. It's not even successful at being entertaining in a funny/ironic way.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:31

Steven Segal films are brilliant. I've not seen the first one, but I will try and see it before this comes out.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

I can see Christmas bannings happening in this thread.

Malc · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 13:09

I've not seen the first one, but I imagine if it had come out in the 90s I would have loved it!

Malc

NervousPete · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 13:13

Bah, crusty old action men in films is boring. Following the action-excellenece of Scott Pilgrim I want more feeble looking people taking on action roles.

Go GO Peter Sallis in John Woo's Last of the Summer Wine!

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Craster wrote:

I can see Christmas bannings happening in this thread.

myp · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 13:26

Saints Row is shit.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 14:15

Craster wrote:

Also, might get more Arnie now he's retired from politics.

The trailer has a shot of him firing a gun, so hopefully.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

It won't be as awesome as The A Team.

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4840

I really enjoy old action films and was looking forward to the Expendables.

It was a big let down though, I thought it was pretty shit.

The A-Team remake was much more enjoyable, which I wasn't expecting.

Malc74 · **Posted:** Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:30

If it's as good as the first one it'll be, er, the joint-worst film ever made.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

THAT'S IT. SHUT THE FORUM.

Grim... · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:08

Oh my God. OH MY GOD.

FUCK YOU, CHUCK NORRIS!

Grim... · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:15

It's true

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22392

Is it PG-13 to murder thousands of innocent bats! Chuck was quite happy with that it seems!

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/ ... of-bats.do

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 26095

Grim... wrote:

It's true

It says in that interview that producers agreed to 'erase' bad language, which makes it sound like the film has already been shot. If it has already been filmed then I'd think his request resulted in a 'sure, Chuck' and ignore.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14416

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard.

HE HAS ANOTHER FIST.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Grim... wrote:

It's true

Dick.

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4840

I didn't rate the first one much, and this sounds pretty lame. Unless it comes out unintentionally hilarious like that Robocop edit.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

You sound lame.

Alarm · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 13:00

I haven't seen the first film, but they probably need to add Cynthia Rothrock to the roster for it to be the best thing evah.

Ahem.

Malc74 · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 15:25

Craster wrote:

Grim... wrote:

It's true

Dick.

If I may be so bold, the absence of bad language won't be the thing that makes Expendables 2 shit...

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

Ian Fairies wrote:

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard.

HE HAS ANOTHER FIST.

If they're so desperate for tired internet memes in their film, they should just have a cat playing the piano in it.

myp · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 17:56

throughsilver wrote:

Ian Fairies wrote:

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard.

HE HAS ANOTHER FIST.

If they're so desperate for tired internet memes in their film, they should just have a cat playing the piano in it.

I thought the Chuck Norris meme was hilarious... in 2004.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Malc74 wrote:

If I may be so bold, the absence of bad language won't be the thing that makes Expendables 2 shit...

If I've perhaps not been at my most clear in this thread to date, then I shall reiterate - you may not be so bold.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14416

The only thing that will be disappointing about this film will be if Chuck Norris doesn't snap a mans neck by staring at him.

And then scowling at another man making him snap his own neck.

Grim... · **Posted:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 21:41

Chuck Norris can parse HTML with regex.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 26095

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32624

Tired meme or not, these still crack me up.

Grim... · **Posted:** Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:52

I only found out that he was gay the other week.

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4840

Grim... wrote:

I only found out that he was gay the other week.

I only just found out a few moments ago....

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

He was gay the other week? I didn't realise this was a temporary thing.

NervousPete · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 0:00

It's not. He's gay on a rota basis week by week. It's very confusing and hard on his relationships.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32624

NervousPete wrote:

It's not. He's gay on a rota basis week by week. It's very confusing and hard on his relationships.

He has a special schedule drawn up, so everyone knows in advance when he'll be gay and they can prepare accordingly. It's called a Homosexual Agenda.

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:45

Sir Taxalot wrote:

Grim... wrote:

I only found out that he was gay the other week.

I only just found out a few moments ago....

Yeah. Apparently he's fucked all the women now, so he's moved on.

Alarm · **Posted:** Tue Jan 31, 2012 15:42

Grim... wrote:

Sir Taxalot wrote:

Grim... wrote:

I only found out that he was gay the other week.

I only just found out a few moments ago....

Yeah. Apparently he's fucked all the women now, so he's moved on.

Even Ann Widdecombe?

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Tue Jan 31, 2012 16:57

Alarm wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Sir Taxalot wrote:

Grim... wrote:

I only found out that he was gay the other week.

I only just found out a few moments ago....

Yeah. Apparently he's fucked all the women now, so he's moved on.

Even Ann Widdecombe?

That's why he moved on.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

*Runs round the room flailing hands excitedly*

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32624

This is rated 12 rather than 18, right? Isn't that going to suck?

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2012 17:27

FUCK YOU, CHUCK NORRIS!

Also: Who is "U"?

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2012 17:28

Also also: The Rock must be pissed.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22392

Assuming i'm not big stompying over your joke, but I assume that says "Li"

devilman · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2012 20:00

I should really install something other than Paint.Net on this PC.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

This is rated 12 rather than 18, right? Isn't that going to suck?

According to Stallone a month ago:

Quote:

“After taking in all the odd rumors and hearsay, EXPENDABLES II is an R.”

Be Excellent To Each Other

The Expendables 2

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