Be Excellent To Each Other

If all the video game characters in the world faced off in a one-on-one fight to the death, who would win?

The only weapons they are allowed are things they can carry with them (and do carry with them in the games they're in), so Fox isn't allowed to bring his spaceship, or anything like that.

I vote for Nariko from Heavenly Sword. In the last level you're left with no doubts about how astoundingly fucking powerful she is.

Emerald Weapon or Bahamut or something else from the Final Fantasy games that can just destroy all existence.

Luigi, Poltergust1000

They couldn't even kill Cloud, man

Haha, they could when I played.

Fenix, from out of Starcraft: An unstoppable nutter of war. If anyone managed to kill him, he'd laugh it off.

Either Nines Rodriguez or Smiling Jack out of Vampire Bloodlines. Probably Jack, for sheer guile, and for being an obvious badass without the need to ever mention it.

Ragnar, from out of Rune. If in doubt, play Rune. Pretty much singlehandedly demolishes two civilisations, a mountain teeming with monsters and the army of the dead, all in one monstrous, bloody rampage fuelled by anger and mead. And all using little but axes, swords, and the severed limbs of his enemies.

Also Sonic. Just because the hateful little shit will not die.

It'd be rock-paper-scissors, surely? Cloud can beat emerald weapon, for example, because he'd have the underwater materia - but no-one else would. And someone else could beat cloud, because he's an emo nonce.

Or you know, Caine, the First Vampire.


Ryu Hayabusa from Ninja Gaiden would also have a good shot at it. He can shoot APFSDS cores with his bow. That's how manly he is!

Hulk Hogan from any 80s wrestling arcade game. He can become invincible at will, simply by pointing at his opponent and wagging his finger, thats some power right there.

Duke Nukem

Boooooring. Also, disqualified. He's not even in it! And if he is, as some people think, then that character doesn't even do anything.

'Fat Kraut Cop' from Shadow Fighter. He had a gun and a truncheon and I have no doubt that he had an unstoppable single minded determination to keep the mean streets of Hamburg clean of rival beat 'em up characters, evil sorcerers and space aliens.

Either him or the Elite Beat Agents. No one could stop their groove man, not even the Rhomboids.

Kirby can inhale ANYTHING.

Ruff out of Ruff "and" Tumble. Pretty damn hardcore for an eight year old.

Okay, without the machine gun, probably less so, but still.

At which point, the kiwi from New Zealand Story bombs him to death from the inside.

Forever?

Guybrush Threepwood, because he can hold his breath for ten minutes.

I'd love to see the cunt inhale Alma from FEAR.

DARTH VADER

or



but my money is on:

Ponce of Persia? Pff! Darth would choke him from 10 paces.

If the 'desynch' mechanism is be believed, Altair from Ass Creed is damn near invincible. Think about it, you desync from full-on memory if you get hit at all. So, in fact, Altair *never got hit at all*. He completed every mission perfectly and therefore superman.

secap 01 morf mih ekoch dlouw htrad has another go at stabbing Annie.

Gotta be Tiki. Even if he dies, he's strong willed enough to bust out of heaven and come back to life. He'd kick the guy from Prey's ass.

Thinking about it, that's actually pretty hard. Plenty of characters have busted out of hell, or evne gone down there with the express purpose of kicking some devils in the nuts, but to be so determined to succeed that you break out of eternal bliss? That's someone you want on your side.

You know, you make a convincing argument for Tiki. (Never knew that was his name...)

The Prince out of Katamari Damacy. He won't kill you, he'll just roll your universe up into a ball.

Alan Wake and his all-powerful boostable torch would be hard to bet against.

Raikoh the ninja ghost from Otogi.

Or Marcus Fenix

Yeah, he does.

We have a winner.

Every unkillable NPC ever.

I am surprised nobody has mentioned Zool.

Or Jammy Jim from 180.

Ooh clever! But what's that? He's "Force Pinched" the hourglass of time and shoved a light saber up Ponce's arse.

Some little kid from an RPG, since most of the time you can't kill the little fuckers. Actually, one of those kids in that cave village in Fallout 3. You can't kill them and they have guns. Why they aren't running the DC wasteland is anyone's guess.

Kraken in Scribblenats, who I think is all-powerful and beats everything else. Kraken, with a black hole.

*Scratches chin in deep thought*

Yeah.

But the black hole will swallow up that balled-up universe.

Commander Jameson.

You know how they always demonstrate how a black hole works by getting a piece of fabric and warping it?


Well, I've just rolled up the fabric in my big ball.

And besides, the Prince isn't giving it the "ARGH! I WAS DEFEAT YOU RAGE ANGER", he's destroying universes going "tum tee tum tee tum" and other assorted happy whistles. He don't care that he has entire planets screaming in agony and going though the ultimate spin cycle. He's a bastard.

But Vader is in a galaxy far, far away, sees him coming and the recently completed Death Star blows the ball to pieces.

And as the Prince is flung one way in the ensuing explosion, a massive expanding debris cloud of cats, chairs, cars, ice cream, houses, sticks, cats, bread, records, lamps, cows, planes, ships, toffee, cricket bats, eggs, trees, dolphins, skyscrapers, tanks, biscuits, buckets and washing machines flies in the other and obliterates Vadar in a creamy-crunchy-mewling-mooing-brickaty-brackerty-kinda-way.

Just read the first post, and scanned for this, but couldn't see it. so I'll say it now, the Doom Marine.

Malc

Problem with Prince is that he can be rolled up by Marcy.

And Marcy's a poof.

But Vader just force pushes all of the debris away!

... into the black hole.

We need the sort of character that can freeze time indefinitely.

Cthulu.

The demons of hell killed his bunny rabbit FFS!

This is true, and Vader follows the universe into the hole! BUT, the entire universe is still intact within the hole, and Vader continues kicking anus in there.