Be Excellent To Each Other

THE RULES.

Inspired both by the current nonsense spouted by the politicans about how to improve the world after the election, and in no small part by Mr Walker's little list of peeves over at the Botherer Blog, I reckon we here at Beex could put together a far better list of dos and don'ts for a happier world - so get suggesting!

Starter for ten

(1) If a child waves at you from a boat, or to you if you're on a boat, you are required BY HOLY LAW to wave back, lest you end your days the sort of person who shouts at doorways and eats their own face.

2) In a discussion about a computer game on an internet forum, it is considered very rude to ... Oh, what's the use

(3) On the first warm day of spring, all attractive girls must celebrate by wearing their flimsiest summer dress to work, then stay out late, drinking in a beer garden. This day shall henceforth be known as Nipple day*


*Technically, Nipple Day is already recognised and observed by a sizeable proportion of the populas on a voluntary basis, but I require mandation.

4) during external Summer drinking gatherings, said gatherings MUST contain at least one Girl who panics at the sight of a wasp and at least one bloke who tries very hard to maintain a facade of non-wasp-botheredness.

5) Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.

(thanks, Scroobius)

Nipple day?

It has been known, and will always be known, as Tit Monday.*


*Not necessarily on a monday.

It's not the first warm day, it's the second*. On the first warm day they're still wearing winter clothes.

*So, today. Unrelatedly, I'm off out for a smoke.

Is that to get your nipples poking out?

Tit Monday doesn't involve sitting in a beer garden until it's cold again though.

6) If you're in charge of a shopping trolley and you happen to ram in to someone, you will apologise rather than blankly stare at the person you rammed before pushing past.

It bloody well does, that's the whole point!

http://www.titmonday.com

I always understood it as the "first day of the year girls wore low-cut tops". Like that page you linked to does

Bloody work internet, I couldn't check the link before posting it...

Tit Monday is the first day where women are foolish enough to wear revealing clothing, safe in the knowledge that it is pleasantly warm, but the nip in the air as the day draws to a close and they are all in the pub gardens is twofold...

I'd like to add a corollary to Rule 1 - if you're the one on the boat, and the child is within earshot, and the boat has a horn, you must also perform a jaunty "beep-beep" upon said horn in addition to any wave. Doubly so if you are wearing one of those "captains" peaked caps.

(7) Do not under any circumstances wear sandals or flip flops unless there is a really incredibly strong practical or medical justification other than 'they're just dead comfy'.

This is just another complaint thread, masquerading as a smiley face.

'I don't like people doing this, so I'll suggest people not doing it is a great way to live'.

Took the neophyte's post to really bring it home.

no farting, burping, nose picking or sniffing heinies.

Trust me to get the number that makes a daft emoticon.

(7a) AND NEVER WEAR THEM WITH SOCKS.

Nonsense.

It worked for the Zohan.

When walking around in the morning you MUST greet at least one stranger with a cheery "Good Morning" or similar, and respond appropriately to anyone greeting you

I thought it was all quite merry and positive until I waded in (wearing stout shoes) with my negative shit.

WE SHALL KILL YOU!!!

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