Be Excellent To Each Other

So, on the way to work this morning, about 50m from the door you hear a crashing sound and turn round to see someone has fallen off their push bike. WHAT DO YOU DO?

(note the absence of a serious topic dimlie)

Depends. Do they look ok?

Are they fit?

On the pavement or the road?

Hard to tell, looked like a pile of clothes and a mop of curly hair (lady's) slung in a heap over a bike. They weren't dead or nuffink.


More details: It was behind you, but also on the other side of a BUSY ROAD that you have ALREADY CROSSED. You are probably about 10-15m away from them.

Look for dropped ammo and see if they had a better weapon/armor.

Personally I'd start heading over there to see if they need any help but also kind of hoping that other people will be on the scene before I arrived.

Carry on to work as normal but start a thread on an internet forum.

There were two WOMENS on that side of the road, much closer. Looked like they were enjoying a COFFEE.

Take out your IPHONE and ask the HIVE MIND.

Also, take a PICTURE.

(actually, what markg said).

A similar thing happened to me last month. I was queuing to see Harry Hills TV Burp in London and I saw a bike crash on the road next to the studio. He wasn't going fast as he'd only just pulled away from stopping at lights.

Naturally I sent the missus to check on him while I kept our place in the queue.

But in this case, since I was heading into work, it sounds like a good excuse to be a little late. I would have gone back to check. I'm nice like that.

That's pretty much the way it went actually, it was practically right in front of those other ladies and they did go to help. I did hesitate and think about going back, but then the poor lass that fell off probably was a bit hurt and embarassed and probably wouldn't want too much fuss. And if she was hurt then I don't really have any medical training that could benefit them.



That's it. I was considering pretending I was standing there gawping and my first reaction was to go online in a real-world socially-inept style.

I saw a motorbikist get crunched between a bus and a parked car last year, it was just over the other side of a junction. I drove across the red light to stop any cars from coming round the corner and running him over. Some helpful people on the street corner were already pulling his helmet off He apparently had a broken arm, and then someone from another car seemed to be a medical professional, and the police showed up within seconds, so I left them all to it.

Saw a very near miss this morning a left hand drive Jeep type thing and a Motorbike on the wrong side of the road. Missed by an inch and left the Jeep twitching all over the place as the driver corrected the steering.

I had to scream to stop someone doing that to me.

Last year a biker twelved it coming off some traffic lights (his hand slipped off the clutch or something) and I was running toward him whilst shouting "don't touch him", then had to detour when some helpful fucking cock tried to pick the bike up, from the clutch side, without switching it off first. Cue the back wheel grabbing as he leaned it over and doing a half-doughnut, wiping this guys ankles out in the process.

Moral is: If you don't know what you're doing and there are other people around, you probably shouldn't try and help.

*shudder*

so, I had two similar situations.


1. I'm driving with my mate in the car at about 40mph when a motorbike speeds past us at least double our speed AKA acting like a right cunt. We went down the road, over a hill and he's sprawled out like the dumb fucker he is.

Didn't stop.

Did laugh.



2. This is an odd one. I'm walking into my front garden. Neighbour is leaving holding her baby. She slips and basically does a touchdown with her baby's head. it was brutal - the kid lived and seems to be totally fine. so all I could do (given that I'm absolutely crap with kids and have no first aid training) is ask if she's alright whilst the mum is freaking the fuck out and her husband runs out to take care of it. So I asked again and then went indoors a bit freaked out but figured that I was no use at all and shouldn't be there.

Awkward.

Argh, bad one

Children are a whole lot more resilient than most people think.

Babies aren't though, they have soft skull bones or whatever.

We should deffo do some sort of experiment, you know.

she was like 2 or 3 so maybe not strictly a baby.

it was a proper touchdown though. and the mum was on a step so it was even higher.

bit mad really!

They do, yes, which means they're less likely to get hurt. The squidgy bones mean they're less likely to get broken if they get trapped in a door, say. As we discovered when second born stuck his fingers in a door jamb and we took him to hospital. Doctor was very relaxed about it - torn ligaments are more of an issue, apparently.

The soft skull is more of a problem if you're poking things at their head, rather than, as with my old boss, accidentally letting your 16 month old kid fall down a flight of stairs onto a stone floor. Head first.

Except for those squidgy bones are meant to protect their brain, which I've heard doesn't like squidging.

Well, boss's kid seems fine 12 months later, and he landed on his squidgy boned head.

Brr, I don't like to think about it.

Of course it's the Yorkshire lot that actually eat babbies 'eds.

I'm terrified I break folks babies just by holding them wrong, never mind rolling them down some stairs or piledriving them into some concrete slabs

That's because children inconsistently hurt themselves.

A child will do an outrageously painful looking fall, hop back up and carry on running completely unfazed.

The same child will then sit down a bit too hard and cry for hours.

One of the problems with not living with Zioette is that she'll sometimes develop further all of a sudden and will have the bare faced cheek to not inform me of this beforehand.

One time I had her at my house and laid her down in the middle of my double-bed whilst I quickly grabbed something in the same room. I knew she was starting to get the crawling basics together, I didn't know she could already set off at full-pelt should she so desire. This is, of course, precisely what she did as soon as my back was turned and went head first off the end of the bed. I ran towards her but sadly failed to grab her before her bonce hit the floor. She screamed and hugged me tighter than she's ever done before when I picked her up. I was so freaked out that I took her straight to A&E, where it turned out the worse thing that had happened was she had a slight bruise and a headache.

I was absolutely beside myself, though the doctor was very nice about it and assured me things like this happen and I shouldn't beat myself up, etc. Fuck though. The only time I ever take my eyes off her when I have her now is when she's strapped down to something.