Be Excellent To Each Other

Don't you dislike crap retailers?

Not just retailers/shopkeepers as such, any business at all really who rejects potential custom due to their own stupidity, such as interpersonal rudeness to customers, or not converting their game to the OS of your choice, or anything really.

There's so many retailers or businesses I've seen that 'mess up' in ways which is really obvious to be as a bystander with no business sense at all really.

One example: looked in a comic/nerd shop today. Now, they've always been staffed by rude gits anyway, so that's not much of a surprise. However, I noticed that all they stocked was stuff that hardcore nerds would buy. All of the big crossover brands that'd appeal to nerds and the 'mainstream', like Transformers, Batman, and (most obviously) Doctor Who, they had nothing of in stock. Well, some Batman comics and a couple of graphic novels, but that's it, and those are pretty nerdcore reading matter. I don't understand how a business that had piles of merchandise related to media franchises I hadn't hard of can still exist, truth be told. And wouldn't nerds buy all that crap online anyway? Crazy. Whatever their financial standing, you'd think even with a (groan) 'credit crunch' recession they'd rake in loads more cash with some recognisable products in stock.

There's also Woolworths. I think we all have theories about why that's folded. (Yes, it's probably down to the Kingfisher Group selling off the shop properties and leasing them back, but I'm sure Woolworths' positioning itself as a downmarket retailer can't have helped either, seeing as there's much cheaper alternatives.)

Err, any other examples?

I was charged £38 for a fucking sit-in chinese meal today, we ordered two portions of egg fried rice and it was the most fucking MEASILY portion to be shared between two people ever, and the rest of the meal was average.

I felt so fucking ripped off afterwards that I moaned about it for quite some time. It's only because I'm on the better side of a bottle of mulled wine that I now feel cheered.

I just had an email notifying me that the present I've ordered for my brother is out of stock, despite the web page clearly telling me it was in stock when I ordered. Yawn.

The staff at my local Game store behave exactly like the rude Hi-Fi store owners in that Not the Nine O'Clock News skit. I've seen them openly mock customers' limited game knowledge to their faces, most of whom are too old/naive to realise they're being made fun of.

And yet, I continually see them fawning over their cute female co-worker, who clearly knows nothing about video games at all.

There's a games shop in Nottingham I had a nose in a few years back and the guy running it was so intent to talk to his mate the whole time I was there, blocking the stuff I wanted to browse. It wasn't as if they hadn't seen me so I just left them to it.

Haha, where was that?

I had a feeling you'd ask me that. I've only ever been the once so I don't know the names of anything there. All that I remember is that there were a couple of arcade cabinets in there

Amazon did this to my ex last year on 3, yes THREE things she ordered and nearly ruined her gift giving to me. The bastards.

I have no idea where you're talking about. Was it in one of the shopping centres?

Infuriating, isn't it. Especially seeing as I placed the order 3 days ago, so now I've got to find another site with it in stock (I registered on this particular site specially because they said it was in stock) in the last week before Christmas. Cheers, guys.

Still, that's the least of my worries. I haven't even thought about what I'm going to get the rest of my family OR girlfriend yet. Fuck.

I figured I wouldn't be much help I can remember it was a fair distance from the train station - I'd gone for a wander to see what I could find and it was tucked out of the way in some side street. Maybe it's not even there anymore.

I've just got done screaming to myself with Amazon.

Last Monday I ordered a 8gb flash camera card for use over Christmas. It said it would ship on 11th December. On Friday I had no shipment notice (strange for amazon) so I emailed the company.. Nothing. I waited until yesterday and sent them another email explaining that I needed this card in time for Christmas so could they please either shit or get off the pot. Thismorning I got a refund. No explanation, no apology nothing. Wanktards.

So now I have had to order another one, in the desperate hope it gets here in time for xmas.

I didn't miss all this shit in the USA ,because it simply doesnt happen there. I ordered a 7" TFT for my car, and when they realised they didnt have it in stock and had fucked up and charged me I got a 10" replacement within 24 hours. One that was worth over double the price of the 7".

Here? fuck me a courtesy email is too much to ask for.

8Gb Flash card for a camera? Use Picstop. Very quick service as well.

But, surely, that's their problem?

I don't see how you can get upset over something like this.

Another example of online stupidity but B2B this time -



This was sent to us as well as quite a few other businesses in one email and because they'd not used the BCC field to send the email, we had all the email addresses for the other companies and, because a lot of those email addresses are firstname.surname@ we had their login details. Idiots.

To be fair, you're much, much older than me. It might have been knocked down and turned into McDonald's since then.

You're just bitter about me picking 'Hot for Teacher' for you to play on drums.

My leg still hurts from that.

It's annoying when you get stung by some shitty retailer, but when they go under clearly because of the own ineptitude, I have very little sympathy. Woolies for example: they've just been burying their head in the sand for the past 10 years hoping that if they just keep forging ahead, doing the same old shit, it'll be fine. They deserve to go under, to be honest. Yes, it sucks big time for the staff who I feel really sorry for. Yes, I do reminisce about walking around Woolies in Cleveleys, staring wide-eyed at all the toys as a kid, but they aren't a charity, they serve no greater purpose to humanity than lining the pockets of their share holders, so tough cookie. I even have this attitude for friends I know who've owned shops and then gone under after a couple years because they just run them badly. There's a reason why so many new businesses go under in the first 12 months - it's because they're often run by clueless dreamers who have no market sense whatsoever.

The extinction of an animal species, THAT'S something to get bothered about, not Woolies disappearing... but I know which most people care more about, unfortunately.

Short of wishing them all dead, I sound like CG in this post

I completely agree with you, pupil, if it helps.

Q - How do you confuse Royal Mail?
A - Have more than one parcel on the non delivered list.

Basically all you do is order two things, and then on the day they're supposed to be delivered you go to the doctors or something like that (you can use the supermarket if you don't need to see the quack).

OK, then, upon your arrival home you call RM and tell them that you missed two parcels, and could they please send them on to your local PO and charge you 50p each (hint, if you do this around christmas time you don't get charged the 50p).

OK OK, then, you go to the PO and collect one, and find out the other one didn't make it there.

Then you go home, call the RM and ask them where your parcel is, they then say "you have collected it" at which point you remind them there was actually two, and you have one (the shit one) but your larger and better one hasn't arrived. Then sit back and chortle as two parcels seem too much for the bloke on the other end of the phone to seem to be able to comprehend and watch him lie and say "It's on the van" or "it's at your PO" trying to get you off the phone.

You can then *really* make him squirm by saying "Oh? It's at my PO? OK hold on one sec whilst I call them on my mobile phone" then, pretend you are slightly deaf by talking very loudly to the man at your local PO, especially the part when you say "OH? YOU DONT HAVE IT THERE?"

Then, undoubtedly the man from RM on the phone will say "Ahhh its on the van" to which you can reply "oh yeah? how come it takes 5 days for my parcel to travel 6 miles?". If you really want to add insult to injury you can bring up google earth and give him full directions to your house.

The final conclusion to this will be "Sorry, I can't find it (no shit sherlock I just like to see you squirm) at which point he will tell you to go to your local PO and get a form.

Kickass.

I think most people do though don't they? Not many give much of a shit for the shareholders and just feel sorry for the staff. And the only people I have heard bemoaning the loss of a cherished institution is media pricks on the telly.

I don't feel sorry for the staff of my local Woolies at all, ignorant unclean slack-gobbed fuckwits who wouldn't look at you if you were Pitt/Jolie nakedly shopping for pick n' mix.

Redundancy is the last thing I'd want for any of them though, just in case any of them end up having to work somewhere I've no real choice in going to, like the doctor's, my local garage, or Hell.

Yep, you're totally right of course.
In a way it's sad to see woolies gone. But tbh most of the woolies I've been in have been dumps, kinda reminiscant of a 60's ww2 warehouse. The floors look like they were laid in the 70s and are full of holes, the shelves should be on cash in the attic and the stuff they sell can all be had alot cheaper elsewhere.

They hardly advertise.. I could go on all day tbh.

You've been to CEX in Cardiff, have you? The excessively pierced young lady who seemed astonished that I thought Force Unleashed was shit, while the Tiny Tim lookalike who sweats continuously sat on the floor behind the counter surveying her arse and midriff.



I remember a Microplay in Toronto being exactly the same... the two guys running the store were completely engrossed playing something or other on their Genesis while I nosed around the shop, didn't find anything I wanted and the prices to be ridiculously high. So I left.



Albany Road? What a place that is. It's somehow even shitter in there than the one in Caerphilly, where they never have anything you want in stock (but are extremely keen to order it for you... oh yes, I came all this fucking way just so I can come bacK? Get fucked, I'm going to one of the adjacent shops so I can buy it TODAY)

A closing place

I can't wait for an editorial cartoon showing Wooly and Worth as derelicts on the street.

I used to work in Woolies. Was all right, apart from the constant staff meetings telling us that stealing even one Pick'n'Mix was criminal offence.

I've lost count of the number of places I've worked at where I've practically had to punch other staff out of the way to shut them up so we can help a customer. Young people are whinged about for this a lot, but it happens just as often with normal blokes and menopausals as well.

I rarely go to coffee shops, but my friend took me to Costa coffee because she likes to do that kind of thing now that, 'we are all grown up and can go and have coffee and grown up things like that,' Yeah? I'd prefer to make you a coffee at mine and watch Red Dwarf repeats if it's all the same to you.

The girls working at costa coffee are twats-

I went to order me and my friend a coffee a muffin to share *fnarr...?* and the whole time the girl was chattering away to the other girl about the fact their boss was a 'bitch' to her recently (actually said 'bitch' aswell-in front of people!) and I just stood there, waiting for her to price everything up so I could pay and then bugger off and sit down.
She remembered me, nearly snapped her disgustingly long false nails on the cash machine and then told me the price (expensive as purr usual-I hate coffee shops!) so I went to hand her the money and-THEN she looked at her reflection in the milk pot thing and started sorting her scabby bangs out in front of me...I went fucking mad:

'Listen here, love. If you'd stop furnishing yourself, get and make that coffee then maybe they wouldn't be giving you a hard time, eh? Just a suggestion like-and stop trapping to other people when you have a customer-honestly!' she just looked gobsmacked, I handed her the money and pointed to the seats we were going to sit at, 'I'll be over there waiting, think you can manage that?'

I watched for her spitting in my coffee, but it was okay

Good

Stupid bitch.

I HATE people who talk whilst you are being served! I NEVER do that when I am serving, it's bloody rude! I was on appliances once at Iceland and a college was trying to talk to me whilst I was serving, he was technically higher in station than me (I know, stations-in Iceland! Who'd have thunk it? I mean Kerry Katona shops there ffs ) and he was mouthing about another member of staff to me (I don't like that) So I said to my customer, who I had been trying to talk to about a Electrolux freezer and said, 'I'm incredibly sorry, Jason appears not to have seen that I am serving you-just one moment,' she smiled and I turned on him, 'Now, I am serving my customer-I don't want to be rude but why don't you go and discuss this with someone else?' he opened his mouth a few times like a fish and then toddled off in a mini-rage.

Boy didn't I get a bollocking later for dressing the boss down! Even though most of the people were grinning


Sorry!! Gone off on a rant there

I would like to predict WHSmith to be the next store (after Jessops and Zavvi, that is) to fold. I would be very surprised to see them around for Christmas next year.

I have been caught out a couple of times by my mobile ringing when I'm in a queue for a cashier somewhere, and me still being on the phone when I get to the front. I feel like an utter cunt for still being on the phone when they're trying to serve me. Normally if my mobile rings it's something pretty damn important like my Mum lying half-dead on the kitchen floor and needing assistance or something

Yup - Smiths always seem to think I want an enormous toblerone to go with my Rizla, Retro Gamer or pencil. Why the fuck that is, I'll never understand.

Topic derailment: Children who want to pack your bags at Sainsbury's, specifically during the busy period. Discuss.

That wouldn't surprise me, I guess.

They seem to be lacking stock of chart DVDs and CDs. Only been in two WH Smiths recently, over the last week, and both occasions I overheard staff explaining to customers that Woolworths going bust has affected what stock they can get from distributors. So WH Smiths don't have the most-wanted media products at the time of year when sales of such items peak. Great.

(I also overheard an adolescent nerd sales assistant being anally condescending to a grandmother who had asked about Clone Wars on DVD - "no, it's not a cartoon, it's CGI, computer-generated animation.")

They want to swipe your wallet and/or hope you give them a 'tip' out of gratitude.

Fucking annoying, they are.

Yes, I get that they're doing it "for a good cause" (except that "good cause" invariably involves them raising money so that they can go dancing, instead of asking the parents for the money or something) but they're kids so have virtually no chance of being correctly trained on bag packing.

That and I rarely buy enough to need help packing my bags so I just feel like a cunt when I tell them I don't need any help.

Buy booze, many, many packets of condoms, three pregnancy tests and a wire coathanger. Also, a copy of Mizz.

Don't forget the Gary Glitter CD!

Smiths don't appear to have any stock, what they do have is available in the high street cheaper, never mind online. Why am I going to shop there? I think we are beginning to reach the stage where only the largest shops can afford to diversify to any reasonable extent.

It means you've pulled.

I think the last thing I bought from Smiths was Battlestations Midway, yonks ago. I certainly wouldn't go in there to buy anything other than magazines or books.

re: children packing your bags, you should have gone to my local Morrisons, they had the local high school girls volleyball team (yes really) doing it! Try NOT to get flustered when confronted with that!

Iceland do this-for Macmillan cancer research, you pop change into the bucket they have on the til for helping-they are failry useless though as packers

How I saw read it the first time feex.

Local college. Drama girls. 16-18. Unusually low staff counters. Every fucking day.

It's remarkable that I get anything done at all, to be honest.

*Chokes on tea* for a moment I thought I *had* wrote that then

No, sorry, this makes you sound like a cunt, so why should they help you?

SHOP GIRL: Would you like to put that bag on the counter so I can scan it please?
SA: No, I'd rather hold it down here in front of my throbbing erection, thanks

To be fair, he wasn't a cunt until they already lied to him.

First rule of dealing with customer service types of any kind: Never give them an excuse. However poorly they act, never give them the slightest scrap of an excuse to be anything but superb to you.

Firstly, it makes them look absolutely awful to anyone else nearby and/or any supervisors or managers you later speak to.

Secondly, it's infuriating for them if they're an unhelpful cunt, because they know they'll have to be overtly cunty or have to do their job. If they're not unhelpful, it'll make them more inclined to help you because you're being nice and clear and thorough.

Finally, and most importantly, it's the most likely thing to get your problem sorted out. You can even tell them you're going to complain about them personally and still get the problem solved with no hard feelings if you do it with great patience and tact (you can also have a potential complaint against you dropped in the same manner. I'm a massive cynic, but the majority of people will, after prolonged treatment of some kind, return that same treatment, be it lousy or ultra-nice).