Be Excellent To Each Other

... Who neither works with computers or IT somehow, or has any kind of IT or computer related qualifications?

I just get the impression that I get sometimes.

There are a few others that don't. Not many, mind.

I don't, unless you count ECDL's, which you shouldn't.

I do work with a computer in the library though, but the job isn't based around it. Does that help?

I'm a lawyer, so no. Although I do spend a lot of time swearing at our IT systems and swearing about our IT department.

Im a film/media student and a canvasser posting leaflets and that but im quitting my job to become proper lazy student scum.

I don't have any IT qualifications and I do not work in IT..or anywhere for that matter.
Taught myself what I know/learned from internet people/learned from Sheepeh.

i'm an engineer (Environment/Sanitary field).

I know what you mean, but i also get that impression in every other forum i go.

RuySan, is that a very fancy way of saying that you fix broken toilets?

I don't have any computer qualifications at all, but in my job I don't really need to do anything too tricky. I'm not too bad with them though. Not brilliant, mind, but I can usually get what I want done.

no. My own flush is broken and i have no idea how to repair it.

I is Astrophysics PhD scum, so I've learned how to use unix, emacs, CLASS, fortran, IDL and other IT skills useless in the workplace! Huzzah!

Nope, no IT qualifications here. Well, GCSE Computer Studies...
Which could've been done by a

Does it have a lid that you can remove, to look inside the cistern of the toilet? See if there is any water in there. If not, fill it 2/3 or so, and then try fushing. Observe what happens then (because I can't see from here).

Try rebooting it.

The only qualification I have is JCB driving, and I fear that ran out last year.
I'm going to redo that. I've decided.

I do work with computers, though.

When it came to GCSE options during my schooldays, the deputy headteacher pressured me into taking IT (which isn't proper computing) because he heard that I knew how to use the Internet. Glad I didn't, because being taught how to use Acorn Archimedes by a woodwork teacher probably wouldn't have helped me in the long run...

Ah, the Archimedes... What ever happened to them eh? First GUI I ever used was on one of them, though, proper impressive at the time. Bloody hell, that's about 20 years ago...

We should do a 'what was your first GUI?' thread. Mine was the blue and orange wonder that was the Amiga Workbench (1.3, I think). What a colour scheme! 'Though I had seen early b&w Apple Macs at some point beforehand.

Workbench 2.05 for me, on my A600.

Workbench was awesome. My first real Windows experiance was '95, when I got my first PC.

I dunno, if you've learnt Emacs, then you've probably got a massive brain and the ability to span your hands 10 metres across.

I studied Film because I wanted to get into Film but then I decided that all Film people are scum and I'd rather work in a bookstore. Result: lower pay and less challenges, but also way less stress and I don't have to be 'friends' with complete fucking wankers. I don't have to wake up at four in the morning and work 17 hours with hateful people and then look for new work every four months.

I work in the DVD section of the bookstore and at the moment our store has the largest selection of Blu-Ray titles of any store in New Zealand. Unlike my superviser, I don't really give an arse though. The only thing we have worth watching on Blu-Ray is Planet Earth, and that's only because David Attenborough is the shit.

I imagine driving a JCB will be handy when it's time to fix your road.

i advise on public transport and bike innovation..

I used to work in IT, now I work on the commercial side of the business but this still means working with IT. In most corporate environments it's pretty impossible not to though.

I hope you're advising on the distribution of dinky little real life Mario-Karts for everyone to drive to ease congestion.

Basically what happened to the Amiga, except without the games indeed any software sales at all and 1000x the sad nerds who needed their heads kicking it.

I'm a software engineer, my employer writes software solutions for the travel industry. I specialise in Java development, scalability analysis, and being a standard nerd.

We need a Denholm smiley for that last bit.

I skipped that one and went straight to the calming grey tones of 2.1? on an A600.

I did use Stop Press! DTP package on a C64 before that though, it had a proper "icons, menus and pointers" GUI and a 3-button mouse. Amazing stuff really.

Given your PhD I'm suprised you're not working in the Telco industry, surely one of the network manufacturers would have given you a job?

I have a forklift truck license, so naturally I ended up as a freelance web monkey.

My first GUI was GEM, running on an Amstrad PC1512 with two 5.25" floppy drives and it's-almost-like-the-real-thing 3 colour CGA graphics!

I've owned neither an Amiga, nor a Star Wars AT-AT, and have been bitter about it ever since.

Actually CGA was 4 colour, and the 1512 had a special Amstrad screen mode that allowed 16 colours. From memory in GEM you could indeed have all 16 colours. Indeed any software that had the correct drivers could do so.

I do journalism, me.

I just remembered GEM did have some sort of paint program that had a few more colours, I'd forgotten all about that. I don't remember anything else I had making use of anything other than white, magenta, cyan and.. err.. black though.

I really didn't use GEM very much other than booting it up a couple of times for a play. I didn't have any GEMish software for it other than the little tools and 'toy' apps it came with. Three floppies just to load it in? sod that, this desktop metaphor thing will never catch on. DOS FTW, etc etc.

I remember the day I got a hard drive for it... 20mb, such decadence.

I live in South Wales and don't want to move, the only wireless planning firms within reach are Orange, BAE Systems, Gamma Technologies, and a small firm called Keima in Cardiff. Orange are skanky to work for since they were taken over by the French and in any event rejected me when I applied there in 2001. BAE sponsored my PhD but presumably didn't like it much because they never offered me a job. Gamma went through a massive downsizing a few years back, we have at least three ex-members of their staff here with few good things to say. Keima are a startup who aren't looking for people at the moment.

So there isn't much telecoms really, unless you include a VOIP firm (Ubiquity) or the IPTV startup that a former colleague of mine works at (Quative). Mostly, though, a few days before my PhD funding stopped I entered Blind Panic Jobhunt Mode and accepted the first offer that turned up. I've been here 3.5 years now so it can't have been too bad a decision I guess. In terms of my personality and skillset, I'm more of a practical engineer than a researcher[1], so it's as odd as it looks that this is where I washed up.

[1] My PhD supervisor was the opposite, he did a maths degree and his own thesis was in combinatorial optimisation. Our conflicting approaches was quite hard work at times but, in hindsight, probably strengthened my thesis no end as he didn't hesitate to bring me up sharp when the thought my theory was lacking and I injected more practical stuff than he would have done.

I am molecular biologist who deals with robots.

I did a BEng Computer Science, discovered I didn't really like Computer Scientists, didn't really make any friends on my course, attended patchily and got a Desmond. I rocked the world of campus Amateur Operetta, though. I then floated around aimlessly for two years or so doing secretarial work (I audio type at 70+ WPM) before ending up on an IT Service Desk.

I now work on a small team coordinating technical teams during IT Emergencies - it perfectly suits my broad, shallow IT knowledge, my ability to build working mental models of things very quickly, and the fact that I work best under the cosh.

The shifts are bloody awful though, dealing with offshore teams with next to zero conversational English is probably one of the most frustrating things I've ever done, and when it's slow, it's sloooow.

I went from Accountancy to IT and back again.

Which probably makes me this :

I make computers do pictures.

You are Doctor Doom, and I claim my £5.

Ooh, who for?

Well, other than freelancing my ringpiece out to a few gaming sites, nobody at the moment. I'm actually copywriting. BUT! Once my MA is done, I'll be doing an NCTJ course in an attempt to get onto a paper.

That sounds like a lot of hard work, couldn't you just shag a footballer, be in Big Brother or murder someone instead?

Take heart; I wouldn't know a local area network from my arsehole.

It's specialised knowledge.

I recommend learning the difference - in case someone says "Can I see your Local Area Network?"

Hehe, I just wanted to emphasise my lack of qualification for IT jobs. I'm sure I could set up a LAN without breaking a sweat, kalmar.

"What seems to be the problem sir?"
"My network cable keeps falling out"

8.7/10

"What are you trying to connect to?"
"I'm trying to connect to the MAN."

"Have you Fingered it for user information?"