Be Excellent To Each Other

British and French nuclear subs collide in the Atlantic. Let's hope the French have some insurance.

I'm slightly annoyed that the article does not confirm whether the French sub immediately offered an unconditional surrender.

Uber LOL for "Force de Frappe", mind.

I am personally going round to the Telegraph and stuffing that up their arses. A nice simple "claimed that they" was clearly too much to ask for.

I interviewed at an anti-submarine place a couple of years ago. Obviously if I'd got that job this wouldn't have happened.

Bet that made a 'ping'!

A sub-standard pun if I ever saw one.

Rather conning, I thought

The depths you lot are prepared to sink to... I just can't fathom it.

I really fancy a sandwich.

http://www.twitter.com/

You sea?

Great image, isn't it?

Captain: "This boat is a key part of our country's nuclear deterrent, ready to unleash its devastating power at a moment's-"

(DONNNNG)

All: "Aaaaargh!"

Captain: "FUCKING CHRIST OH JESUS GOD IT... oh. Ahem. Now, as I was saying..."

Looks like the stealth subs are working then, though...

But our very expensive stealth-sub-detectors clearly aren't....

Frenchys in giant dong shocker. More at 10.

How bigis the ocean?
How small are those subs?

How on earth did they hit each other!?

They couldn't figure out which side they should be passing on.

Also our one looked uncannily like a baguette.

There was a rather good episode of Treasure Hunt where the clue was in a submarine. They had the submarine surface and then they landed the helicopter on it. No mean feat when you see how small the landing area is!

Here's the clip, about 2 minutes in.



A couple of Chinnytrufax for you, first I've flown with the pilot in that clip. Second a few years after this was shot the Treasure Hunt helicopter was ditched in the sea off the Channel Islands. Keith wasn't flying it but Mikey from The Interceptor was. Luckily he got out as the aircraft had been fitted with one of the first emergency oxygen systems designed for such circumstances.

They were playing 'Poulet'

Indeed, because after seeing the effects of concentrated machine gun fire on their soldiers in WWI, the first thing the whole country really wanted was a replay against steelier, deadlier opposition. Not to mention the sacrifice of the French partisans operating in occupied France with monstrous attrition rates.

Shit, who logged in as Mali?

That'd be the same concentrated machine gun fire we were on the receiving end of as well, then?

I was aiming for that bit in My name is Earl when crabman, on having been asked about voting critiques the US electoral college system designed to keep wealthy white land owning farmers in positions of power, but there we go

Heh.

I reckon the French Navy's motto should be changed to:

"A l'eau, c'est l'heure".

Hey, Earl.

I heard from a reliable source that we had our sensors off to save on CO2 emissions. It is all part of the Governments drive to reach EU targets set by 2010.

The French haven't go any and their front porthole was steamed up after the Captains morning shower.

"ell, it fucking sank didn't it?" - Submarine designers defend allegations of a job half done.

I've always wondered why they don't fit cameras on the outside of the sub, so they can actually *see* stuff a bit.

'cos they would then need to fit lights, and stuff. And that would show up, kinda defeating the point of having a stealthy thing, in hiding carrying nuclear doom, no?

Only if (a) the other sub has cameras too and (b) you've left your lights on.

Would IR light/camera combinations work in water?

Why not windows? Or a nice screen door?
and a nice chocolate fireguard

See "Sonar".

basically, anything they use to detect other subs can be detected by other subs. That's why sub films are always so tense.

Heh - you did a funnee.

You can see objects in better detail with light based detections methods than sound, surely? Due to some gubbins to do with frequency and/or wavelength. So for close up stuff a leetle camera might be a good idea. Like those ones on trucks to stop them reversing into things.

Err, dunno. I would guess that you would still have to broadcast IR light to get it reflect back, but I dunno.

*is easily ignored*

So they should have detected the other sub detecting them which means that my theory holds water.

Nah, it'd only see something a few metres away in most waters - so close that there would be no time to stop or change course even if you did see something and reacted immediately.

They should just stop floating around in stupid radioactive dongs and park it.

Doesn't salt water carry the stench of garlic and onions?

Yeah, I figured the draw distance would be pretty short, but it's better than nothing. Plus you get to have the video feed as a massive floor to ceiling display and stand in front of the view of fishes swimming past like Captain Nemo.

How much close-up stuff do you need to look at when you're in five thousand tons of nuclear submarine?

Present situation aside, obv.

Given how murky water gets when you're decently deep, even if you had the whole of Blackpool Illuminations on the front you'd only see a short way - anything you spotted you'd never have time to get out of the way of.

Or, what Kalmar said.

They weren't switched on.

All those sailors and no Gaydar?

I've got a book here, about the UK's attempts to build steam powered submarines. Called the K-Boats. Typical quote "I say, Number One, my end is diving... what the hell is your end doing?"

Originally, the UK did not like the idea of submarines on the grounds that they "were the weapons of the weaker nations" and, more tellingly of First Sea Lord Fisher's attitude, "underhand, unfair, and damned unEnglish"

Chinnytrufax: The US Navy gave them the facilities to shoot the video but in return wanted to be able to use the song for advertising purposes. Somehow this backfired.....

When the Rear Admiral got wind of the situation the shit hit the fan.

Not according to the Telegraph



Should be able to turn on a sixcents.