Be Excellent To Each Other

Fucking stupid office carpet keeps making me (and others) get static shocks.
Is there anything I can do about it, sort of wearing an earthing armband all the time? Touching my keys in my pocket like the Internet suggests does fuck all.
So far everyone that has turned up for an interview today has been electrocuted when I shake their hand

Do you have a radiator near? You can earth yourself on that.

Try different shoes?

Try not to drag your heels/feet when you walk about?

Um.... I take it the office won't consider changing the carpet.

This stuff?

http://www.rainbowsupplies.co.uk/php/sh ... ?plu=BM251

No idea if it actually works.

Whenever that happens to me, I find someone to use. In Vegas, it was my wife. Here (new shoes are causing static of late) it is my assistant. She loves it.

I randomly wear one of five pairs of trainers to work, but they're all made by Nike.

@Dimm: I can't earth myself while I'm walking around.

@APOD: Oooh. I suspect it's made by Snake Oils, inc. but it might be worth a go.

I read a neat sci-fi/fantasy book where the best way to be protected from magic was a connection with Earth, so the heroes cut holes in their boots and a tied a chain around their ankles, the long loose end dangling out the hole to touch ground.

You could try this, and make it look totally gangster or something, yo.

Or get into a habit of touching things as often as you can while you walk around. May look a bit OCD though.

That's the most likely thing to work for static electricity too.

Or less drastically, assuming leather shoes, paint a bit of conductive paint from the upper, down the side of the sole to the underside. That will keep you discharged.

OK, not leather shoes. I'd suggest threading a small piece of copper wire down through the sole (using a strong needle). One end folded over into the insole, and the other end sticking out of the tread.

Very thin wire like 0.1mm, one strand from a piece of mains flex cable.

Build a barrier a few inches high across any doors in your office, and then fill it up to ankle depth with Mercury. Instant end to electrical insulation blues!

Or build a dogem-style wire mesh across the ceiling and wear hats with wire rods sticking out the top.

Rip the carpet up.

Attach a defunct joy-buzzer to your palm. People will think it's deliberate!

You could dress up like Dynamo from The Running Man and pretend you're giving people electric shocks on purpose.

Bare feet?

Wear gloves. Or change your shoes. Keep a pair of Manolo Blahnik slingbacks under your desk change when you get to work.

Paging Zardoz...

As an alternative, have you tried levitating around the office instead?

Already on it.

Get a man servent to carry you round?

I have no solution, but I have really bad issues with electric shocks any time I visit the Natural History museums, and that isn't carpeted.

We should all go there and zap people.

Oh, also, one of my student houses used to have a static carpet. We also had trouble with the TV randomly changing channel of its own accord, every single day, and always wondered if the two things were connected.

Could we form a primitive battery by wiring Mimi and Grim... up in serial and use them to power a small light or an basic child's toy? It seem a shame to let all that electricity go to waste.

Can't you wire your bowling shoes to your propeller cap?

I am getting this issue whenever I wear my work shoes and get out of my car - the fucking door zaps me every time and it's starting to grate now. I'm also starting to look mighty peculiar as I step out of my car every morning when I arrive at work and every night when I get home again and pause a bit in dread at the inevitable shock I'll get from trying to close the door.

I'm thinking I might start driving in trainers and just getting changed when I get to work. Could it really be my shoes doing this? I seem to get zapped all the fucking time after driving my car in my leather work shoes, but never in trainers.

We can spend all day giving shit answers, or Grim.. could get the carpets treated.

Basically office carpets are made of man made material and should be treated from time to time with an anti static agent. Various sprays are available. Not only does it stop you getting zapped but it potentially prevents you from zapping electrical equipment.

While Grim.. was mocking the colour of my carpet the other week I might point out that although it dates from the 1970's, it is made of wool and therefore I suffer no static problems.

Close the car by pushing on the window, or by using your (clothed) elbow or something. Or, make the contact between your hand and the door with your fist rather than a fingertip. You'll spread the shock over a larger area and feel it a lot less.

What? Like the stuff I linked to back up the page you mean?

Sorry, you got drowned out in the "shit". Which kind of highlights my point.

Remind me people, weren't we supposed to actually be answering questions before filling a thread with stuff?

The first four answers were:

• Earth yourself regularly
• Replace the carpet
• The anti-static spray you mentioned
• Change your shoes

That pretty much covers every possible answer to the question.

And there was no 'serious face' Dimlie.

I have had the belly ache for 2 days now. I imagine it is what it is like to have a [womans thing - Ed] . Therefore I AM IRRATIONAL AND SHOUTY! GRRRRRR!!!!

[normal service will be resumed in a few days]

I thought that was normal service ;0)

Strange.. This thread appears and then I give the missus a shock when she gets home. First time ever!

Were you standing there naked, wearing a doughnut? 'Cause that'd surprise me a tad, too.

Or am I a pavlova!

Blimey, that's a bold opening gambit.