So I'm going to see the specialist next week, the boob one. I'm not all that bothered about it because I'm sure that it'll be fine and they won't find anything sinister and that's been my thought on it from the start, really. There's no point worrying about what it 'might' be when it's most likely to be nothing. So I haven't been, not at all, it's all more of an inconvenience than anything else. But then at the start of the week I began thinking about it a little more, dangerous I know, like what the lump actually could be, I think it was because with the letter they sent a leaflet explaining all the tests they might have to do to find out exactly what the lump is because they like to give you your results on the day. And then there was the slight creeping doubt, what if it was Something? Not because I'm worried about that, per se, I haven't thought about what happens if it is something because like I said, what's the point worrying? I can deal with that stuff if I need to. I was just struck by the sudden realisation that I hadn't prepared myself at all for any news other than 'It's nothing, you can go home now'. So I rang Ramsea and told him he better be able to leave work early that day if I need him to, I think if I rang him and he couldn't come and get me, that'd feel worse than anything else. Not that it'll come to that but just in case.