Bits and Bobs 22 - Two Little Ducks

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

It'll be the hearing going next - especially after a few runs on that Speed Triple.

I SAID SPEED TRIPLE, GRANDAD.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22311

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

It'll be the hearing going next - especially after a few runs on that Speed Triple.

I SAID SPEED TRIPLE, GRANDAD.

Is Cavey still alive, I assumed he was posting from the afterlife.

Malabelm · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 15:07

Captain Caveman wrote:

Well, there's plenty of ageism though - I still cry myself to sleep most nights.

Waking up in a wet bed at your age and assuming you've been sleep-crying is a bit of a leap, chap.

Cavey · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 15:27

Meh. Well, I did ask for it, you young scoundrels. :hat:

Eeeh, you wouldn't get stuff this when I were a nipper; people used to respect their elders. Have you seen the cost of a pint these days? The winters are getting much warmer, people don't know they're born today. Christmas? Pah! Give 'em a lump of coal and a tangerine I say, and if they don't like it, follow up with a good clip round the ear. In fact, National Service is the answer; my old Drill Sergeant would've sorted the little bleeders out, never mind GameStations and the like! Ham doesn't taste like it ought to; they pump it full of water you know. Same as chickens. Mint Imperials are half the size they used to be; gobstoppers were of a comparable diameter to the Moon and you got 20 to a farthing...

... etc. etc. repeat to fade

KovacsC · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 15:29

Captain Caveman wrote:

Meh. Well, I did ask for it, you young scoundrels.
Eeeh, you wouldn't get this when I were a nipper; people used to respect their elders. Have you seen the cost of a pint these days? The winters are getting much warmer, people don't know they're born these days. Christmas? Pah! Give 'em a lump of coal and a tangerine I say, and if they don't like it, follow up with a good clip round the ear. In fact, National Service is the answer; my old Drill Sergeant would've sorted the little bleeders out, never mind GameStations and the like! Ham doesn't taste like it ought to; they pump it full of water you know. Same as chickens. Mint Imperials are half the size they used to be; gobstoppers were of a comparable diameter to the Moon...

etc. etc. repeat to fade

It is like Grampa Simpson is in the room

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Captain Caveman wrote:

Meh. Well, I did ask for it, you young scoundrels. :hat:

Eeeh, you wouldn't get stuff this when I were a nipper; people used to respect their elders. Have you seen the cost of a pint these days? The winters are getting much warmer, people don't know they're born today. Christmas? Pah! Give 'em a lump of coal and a tangerine I say, and if they don't like it, follow up with a good clip round the ear. In fact, National Service is the answer; my old Drill Sergeant would've sorted the little bleeders out, never mind GameStations and the like! Ham doesn't taste like it ought to; they pump it full of water you know. Same as chickens. Mint Imperials are half the size they used to be; gobstoppers were of a comparable diameter to the Moon and you got 20 to a farthing...

... etc. etc. repeat to fade

D.... dad? What are you doing here?

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 15:43

Captain Caveman wrote:

Meh. Well, I did ask for it, you young scoundrels. :hat:

Hmm... we could do with some memories of the Crimea in the Grandfathers and war thread

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 16:19

Craster, I'm not sure if you're allowed to change your avatar. You've had the old one since World of Vimto.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49233

It stays until someone acknowledges that it's a clever joke.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 16:23

Craster wrote:

It stays until someone acknowledges that it's a clever joke.

Oh well.

markh · **Joined:** 13th Oct, 2008 **Posts:** 903

Possibly very old, but I found it pretty amusing, and they were one of my favourite bands 'back in the day'

hidden messages in BASIC in music:
http://blogs.igalia.com/berto/2008/01/2 ... puter-era/

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 16:28

Craster wrote:

It stays until someone acknowledges that it's a clever joke.

It certainly is a clever joke. Far too clever for me.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

WTF is he on about?

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

It's the Avatar from the Ultima games.

It's a very bad joke following on from the exchange a few pages back about "you're an avatar".

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 16:41

So do I LOL now?

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14499

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

It's the Avatar from the Ultima games.

It's a very bad joke following on from the exchange a few pages back about "you're an avatar".

Are you saying he's an Ankher ?

Or would you like to date his Avatar ?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49233

Zardoz wrote:

So do I LOL now?

My Avatar is The Avatar! It's a work of genius!

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 17:25

Air Bender.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14499

Craster wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

So do I LOL now?

My Avatar is The Avatar! It's a work of genius!

It doesnt look like this

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 17:34

MaliA wrote:

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Squirt wrote:

But not awesome enough to beat a bunch of lanky blue hippies armed with bows and spears.

That's because the hippies only had a million to one chance of defeating the hella awesome space marines.

Indeed, for David to beat Goliath, he must change his tactics so that it prevents Goliath from using the tactics they wish to. there's been studies and shit like that.

I never got that. David beat Goliath because he used more advanced weaponry. That's nothing to be that proud of.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 17:38

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Squirt wrote:

But not awesome enough to beat a bunch of lanky blue hippies armed with bows and spears.

That's because the hippies only had a million to one chance of defeating the hella awesome space marines.

Indeed, for David to beat Goliath, he must change his tactics so that it prevents Goliath from using the tactics they wish to. there's been studies and shit like that.

I never got that. David beat Goliath because he used more advanced weaponry. That's nothing to be that proud of.

I read some article, somewhere (I might have mentioned it) about some girl's basketball team that sued the full court press to win games when they had little to no real skill compared to their opponents. It also mentioned Laurence of Arabia and his tactics. I think the take home message was "fight on your terms and you've a better chance" or something.

DBSnappa · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 18:44

Considering what you've just become that's an inexcusable spelling mistake

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 18:47

DBSnappa wrote:

Considering what you've just become that's an inexcusable spelling mistake

I blame the iPod and the autocorrect.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14499

Speaking of which - Sony has announced their new music store name : Qriocity

http://www.1up.com/news/sony-itunes-com ... ng-psp-ps3

Or "Curiosity" ....

Malabelm · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 19:45

I automatically read that as Atrocity. Fitting.

sdg · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 20:16

I love reading product reviews on shopping websites. I sat in bed one night looking at bread makers or something and couldn't stop giggling at the stupid people who leave reviews. Tonight I am browsing the Ann Summers website and noticed they had reviews on products, so I started looking at all the things on the page to see what people said.
Some crazy woman has bought the 'Real Deal Ebony Vibrator', which appears to be particularly *ahem* ...impressive... but seems to have been left wanting. Her review is marked 3/10 and simply reads, 'NO SENSATION FOR ME AT ALL' (caps hers) :DD

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 20:18

Waving a pencil in a cave.

sdg · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 20:27

Paula, Sussex, on the Ann Summers page for the 'Venus' wrote:

did,nt see how it is suppose to give pleasure but it serves well as a neck massager.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 20:29

Maybe they ought to be shipped with Ikea like graphical instructions.

sdg · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 20:32

I wonder if they know they need batteries...?

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

superdupergill wrote:

I wonder if they know they need batteries...?

Ann summers always come with batteries included don't they? Or so I'm informed.

sdg · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 20:36

Cavey · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 21:24

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:

superdupergill wrote:

I wonder if they know they need batteries...?

Ann summers always come with batteries included don't they? Or so I'm informed.

Not always, actually. I believe a kickstarter is installed in lieu of batteries, where necessary.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 21:25

Kalmar's has a solar panel and wind turbine.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49233

superdupergill wrote:

Her review is marked 3/10 and simply reads, 'NO SENSATION FOR ME AT ALL' (caps hers) :DD

I like the idea that she's left herself a 0, 1, or 2 out of 10 for ones that are somehow worse. Sandpaper coated, perhaps?

kalmar · **Posted:** Mon Sep 06, 2010 22:59

Dimrill wrote:

Kalmar's has a solar panel and wind turbine.

Hey, at least it doesn't glow in the dark.

What are we talking about here by the way?

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:14

Transformers, yeah?

Starscream is a fighter jet aeroplane, Bumblebee is a VW Beetle and Optimus Prime is a car transporter. All easily recognisable. Megatron is a gun, which I always found to be particularly fucking stupid as he can't move when not a robot. And jazz is a 911 (the german car, not the popular beat combo).

The Decepticons arrived on Earth about 4 million years ago. We know this from the tellybox.

4 million years ago was when Ardipithecus ramidus was wandering about, being 4 foot tall.

There has, to my knowledge, never been any elements of time travel in Transformers, so, it is within reason that the robots were designed and constructed some point prior to their arrival on Earth. By someone with a crystal ball who was able to foresee cultural mechanical objects in great detail 4 fucking million years in the future.

Which is stupid.

TheVision · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:21

Didn't Transformers arrive on Earth in the Cybertron forms which were like "space cars" from the future.... And then the Ark adapted them to fit in with modern life?

If I remember correctly though, something went wrong when the Ark was adapting them ergo... we have Dinobots.

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:22

I can't believe it. 9:21 AM and I am listening to 'Break Stuff' by Limpbizkit :facepalm:

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:25

Fuck's sake. These idiots have too much fucking money.

http://tuffchin.com/archives/1154?ref=nf

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:28

How many motherboards have they got?

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:29

JohnCoffey wrote:

Fuck's sake. These idiots have too much fucking money.

http://tuffchin.com/archives/1154?ref=nf

I'm looking at something like this and doing mental calculations quickly. I think I can get about 15% off by not using the agent, and all I have to do then is find someone to fix up the outbuildings a bit and rent them out to tourists. Or get a job doing something else.

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6552

Jay-Z's computer is so covered in LEDs that it'll give you skin burns if you stand within 20m of it. It also has such a powerful cooling system it runs below absolute zero.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

I've just noticed that the lifts in our new offices are made by a company called Schindler. I am still chuckling, some 30 minutes later.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16581

I just can't believe you've made it till now without standing in a Schindlers Lift.

TheVision · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:53

The lifts in this building are made by Schindler too.. I was under the impression that the majority of lifts in this country were?

They're also very rickety and make strange noises. I don't trust them.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32621

TheVision wrote:

Didn't Transformers arrive on Earth in the Cybertron forms which were like "space cars" from the future.... And then the Ark adapted them to fit in with modern life? If I remember correctly though, something went wrong when the Ark was adapting them ergo... we have Dinobots.

Yes. They arrived eleventy zillion years ago but were disabled until whenever-the-story-started. At that point the Ark repaired them all and changed their camouflage mode to fit in with the world it could see, i.e. the mid 80s. The Dinobots were repaired much earlier for some sort of tenuous reason related to wanting to sell a toy T-Rex.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Every other lift I've noticed the name of has been a Kone or Otis. How odd.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

The Dinobots were repaired much earlier for some sort of tenuous reason related to wanting to sell a toy T-Rex.

That is one far-sighted Ark.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32621

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

That is one far-sighted Ark.

You think that's clever? Consider the fact it also repaired hundreds of Transformers on both sides, but released them to the wild in batches of a dozen or so twice a year.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

That is one far-sighted Ark.

You think that's clever? Consider the fact it also repaired hundreds of Transformers on both sides, but released them to the wild in batches of a dozen or so twice a year.

Heh.

That said, it's clearly on the blink given the shitty Transformers it's releasing now. Nowhere near as convincing as the ones 25 years ago.

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