Be Excellent To Each Other

Mental image FTFY.

Hurrah! Total Wipeout is back on telly tomorrow.

Not as good as the USA version, but still amusing to watch people fall over.

Finally, only 15 minutes left til the end of the worst week at work ever. I cannot wait to get home, chill out and drink some whisky whilst watching the tennis. Being a grown up is stressful

Tsk, I thought it evident in the word-play, and didn't want to be so crass and blunt and thus spoil the humour. These producshion editers, eh?

Last night, I discovered too late that I'd been tricked into going to a pub which only served vegetarian and vegan food. Served by a bloke who had his ears and nose pierced, with ginger dreadlocks. Also, queing for the bar was a pain as stupid woman from merkinania could not understand that cider in this country is not for children, and is rather different to what she thought it was. Took me 3 hours to have 3 pints, which would normally be anice relaxing evening, but they ran out of Staropramen, so I had to have BitBurger, which is no bad, but chick behind the bar did not understand my "Bitte ein Bit". Left there, went to the bird and the baby, and it was very hot, so I had a pint of Hooky, and then we got the bus home and I finished off the tonic whilst watching the Family Guy.

You should have walked five minutes up the road to the Oak. They had plenty of Staroprame, and very refreshing it was too

Had I known you were in there, I would have. Soz. It was considered, but I wanted to get the bus, as I also discovered that the shorts I have purchased ages back actually have "Sharkin'" written across the arse....

Christ. As soon as someone responds to "Sorry, I can't serve this to your child as it's an alcoholic drink." with "But..." they should be shot.

presumably "and George" underneath

What the hell is cider when it's in America then? Is it just apple juice?

.... I also hate it when people dawdle at 70.5 mph in the fast lane on motorways whilst you patiently and politely maintain your distance. After 5 miles of this, you blip your headlamps. Nothing happens. You then blip headlamps again, maintaining safe distance. They finally move over - very slowly - and accelerate to 90mph at the same time, forcing you to really boot it. Once you're safely past, they flash you like a twat as if you've done something wrong! Pfft. (Most people don't even bother and undertake aggressively, but I always worry they could cut in on you, plus it's illegal).

You tend to see a lot of this type of stuff at weekends, when non motorway savvy drivers hit the roads.

I'm in a crass and blunt mood today.

There's no fast lane, chap. But dawdlers are, indeed, arses.



I'm reasonably sure it's not actually illegal to 'undertake', but it's heavily frowned upon and may land the blame on your side if something were to happen during the manoeuvre.

Correct.

It isn't illegal to undertake.

If it was, every motorist in every traffic jam would be breaking the law.

Yeah, but you can't purposefully change lanes or speeds to undertake, I thought. So if you were in the middle lane doing 80 and someone was in the outside lane doing 70, it'd be ok to undertake.

I saw an advert last night about deodarant for feet. It made me laugh quite a lot (probably the gin), but I might get some, as I have stinky feet.

I thought it was OK if in traffic queues and slow moving traffic etc., but not at speed on the motorway?

As said, it's frowned upon, but it's not illegal. In the highway code it's a should not rather than a MUST NOT.

Vaguely related but the first time I saw the "anti-chafing gel" advert I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.

I bang the cruise control on at 70, and then only change lanes if there's something in front of me going slower, then move back again.

Oh, good lord, yes.

EDIT: Reminds me, I need some more briefs for cycling.

Indeed.



Not illegal as an act in and of itself, but may contribute towards a case of dangerous driving.

"Don't do it like a cock" would be the best advice, I reckon.

'... Contrary to popular belief it is NOT illegal to undertake but it can be considered dangerous and traffic police are likely to frown upon such behaviour. ...'

So basically, you could get done for driving without due care and attention if spotted, at some traffic cop's discretion. And if there was a collision resulting from your undertaking, you'd be screwed. To my mind, that's as good as 'illegal' then, in any real world sense.

EDIT: Thanks Malabar, that's what I thought. A solitary car doing 70mph in the third lane hardly constitutes a 'slow moving queue', so you'd be screwed > careless/dangerous driving possible. No thanks.

I overtake on the left all the time, and I've done it in full view of police officers and traffic enforcement units.

As long as you're not behaving like a cock, you're fine.

I would also never do it if there wasn't a hard shoulder or other escape route if the person I'm overtaking decides to pull in.

Likely to be frowed upon although the section of the M27 where it splits into the M3 sees quite alot of this since it went to 4 lanes. I reckon you'd be very unlikely to be done for it in those circumstances as people just tend to get into the correct lanes ahead of time. Can be disconcerting though but unavoidable if some biddy is doing 40mph and you can't risk going to the outside for fear of missing your turning.

I'm not saying I blame you for doing it - I am sorely tempted all the time by one dog slow, bad driving twat or another. But I don't fancy the risk of points and in any case, if someone's that useless at driving, you can't discount the possibility of their cutting right into you. For me, the risk on both counts isn't worth it.

There, I fixed it

Some of those made me laugh, others made me worry.

I wish 'undertaking'* was more common, to be honest, so clueless fucking idiots would learn to check their nearside mirrors before manoeuvring.


*I use the quotes because I don't think there's actually a legal term known as Undertaking — it's Overtaking/Passing on the inside, as far as I'm aware.

That part's ok, though, because technically it's split into two different motorways. Doesn't it have a massive thick white line between the two middle lanes?

I've just signed up a borrower with the name of 'Sithole', a straight face was difficult to keep...

£15,000 for 6mph

Jesus. I can kinda see his point, but pursuing it in such a fashion is a little mind boggling.

People start doing it before the white line starts. Right down by the services in fact.

Working from home today (badly). What time would it be decent for me to fuck off on my bike?

1315?

Good luck to them.

Speaking of which, I nearly got knocked off my bicycle again the other day! God I love how the world seems intent on making me out to be a complete liability to my own safety.

I was approaching a junction, turning left. There was a car parked right in the centre of the road, with the driver happily chatting away to a guy standing in the oncoming lane. So I went to pass on the left, where there was absolutely loads of space, but as soon as I became adjacent, the driver whacked his indicator on and drove into me. I can't put into words how ballistic I went at the dim, Scouse bastard.

It's just occurred to me that that man has sex with that woman.

You should never pass stationary cars on the left as a cyclist unless they're indicating to go right.

Of course he doesn't, they're married.

They certainly get my admiration as well, but to be honest, I'd have just stumped up the sixty quid and moved on.

<chuckles>

Actually I need to do some work on the bike first. The changedown on the front gears is really bad. Going from 3 to 2 now requires a kick to get it moving. It's either dirty or the tension is wrong.

I'll probably pop out after 4 as Mrs Chinny is out tonight and I might pop down the shops and buy a steak for tea. Trouble is now I live in the country I can't just walk to the shops in 2 minutes as I have previously all my life!

The safety implications of that being, of course, that it fucks me off to overtake the same cunting cyclist 4 times in a single stretch of road, so I get out and beat him to death.

Probably just dirt. I use thumbshifters to avoid this problem.

I'm awaiting parents and there's still no food in the house.

Yeah, that's how the Yanks do it and they seem to manage OK.

Mind you, I've driven in the US and my word, the drivers there are really slow. (The 55mph limit at the time didn't help, which everyone rigidly stuck to. Some guy boasted to me at the time that he'd 'really hauled ass' doing almost 70mph on the Interstate to get someplace, in his 15mpg, 5.8 litre V8 engined car. LoL).