Be Excellent To Each Other

Fewer

What happened? I he ok? or a rage quit?

He's just a little low.

(On a happier note, though, your Xmas avatar is most excellent Zarz! )

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Happy Holidays to you all.

And fuck you if you've gone!

Hope he feels better soon.

(On a side note Zardoz your Christmas Avatar is nearly traumatic enough, I will give you a B+)

Pretty sure Zardoz was making a tedious joke, it's all his fault that Doc has gone.

You know me too well.

Except that's exactly who you are picking on, since we're the only two people named.

No mention of the way DocG and myp in particular maintained a campaign of sustained and entirely uncalled for personal nastiness against me for weeks before they decided to leave? myp seemed to delight in following me around the forums just to be an arsehole, popping up in threads he'd had absolutely nothing to do with up to that point, just to have a pop at me.

I don't know if their intention was to try and force me to leave if they kept it up for long enough, or they just didn't realise how awful their behaviour was, either way the net result is that BEEX is a nicer place for me now they're not here.

Sorry if you guys miss them, but they made the decision to go, not me.

Sorry mate, I wasn't saying that was OK or anything, just lamenting the overall loss if you will. I really don't "get" the whole PC/XBox thang anyway, as I've only got a old-style "fat" PS3 and an archaic 5-year old Dell laptop.

All I know is, I suspect this is all Trousers' fault. Yes.

Seriously, insulting people? This is fucking bullshit and I'm sick of it. I made one ill comment during a heated argument with Chinny. That's not the reason he left, although it certainly spurred him on I admit. I've since apologised to him personally and we chat on Twitter all of the time. In fact, I'll likely be playing Halo 4 with him at some point in the near future.

I apologised, it was ages ago, what more can I do? I'm really not impressed with what you said there, Kovacs.

I'm not going to divulge the email I received from Chinny, but he assured me I was not the reason he left. I've repeated this on numerous occasions.

Fuck off.

No-one things you're a dick, WTB.

Well, that's not true. I think you're a dick, but it's nothing to do with anything you may or may not have ever said. Dick.

Seriously, insulting "people"? Apologise or I'm fucking off as well. What the fucking hell else can I possibly do? You make it sound as though I routinely insult people. It was over a fucking year ago. I admit, I very much feel like insulting someone right now.

Is it Dimrill?

From an occasional poster's point of view, I certainly wouldn't want either WTB or AE to go, they both write interesting posts on a regular basis. Also, Zardoz's stupid poem nearly made me blub.

Told you.

WTB is excellent, Kovacs is utterly wrong (shock!) in what he said here. Just for the record. Don't leave WTB.

I've had a lot of different forum hangouts and they all go through the same cycle.

1) we're all strangers chatting about common interests
2) we start to form relationships and friendships in the internet sense of the word, and discussion becomes more varied
3) we start to think about how cool it would be to meet people in real life
4) those meets happen, most people have a great time and full-blown friendships form
5) interactions between members spread outside the board as well as on it, often reducing people's forum use
6a) people realise that they no longer need the forum to communicate and maintain the genuine friendships they've formed, and drift away to varying degrees OR
6b) people who are less "in" with the board population feel somewhat on the outside and occasionally excluded, and drift away to varying degrees

It's inevitable, obviously individual spats and individual wankers can cause/accelerate this on a specific individual level but there's nothing inherently "wrong" with the forum or its members that is causing it to happen and really there's no way to prevent it. Not that introspection and hand-wringing is pointless, it's also worth examining the way we go about things, but in the grand scheme of things it won't change anything.

Don't go. It's a forum with a number of different people on it all of us with our own stupid foibles and failings. Everyone isn't going to get on with everyone else, sometimes they'll even fall out with each other.

Yeah, I have to agree with that, frankly. I'd suggest it's just poor wording on Kovacs' part than anything intended to be offensive.

Just chill man, one needs a thick hide at BEEX sometimes, mine got particularly well developed of late though, so I'm perhaps starting from an advantageous position when it comes to just giving it a bit of a 'Whatever' at being called out as some kind of forum-wrecking bastard.

Plus what Alberto said is entirely correct too, things change, forums change, people move on, 'twas always the case and always will be - especially somewhere like BEEX where there's no real 'draw' to get new members in.

Well thanks for the kind words! I wasn't fishing for them though, I assure you! It's just a tad frustrating that apparently people seem to think I'm a meanie who bullied Chinny into leaving. We were arguing quite heatedly and I honestly didn't think what I said would be as insulting to him as it was. I of course regret having any part in anyone leaving the forum and I'd take it back if I could. It certainly wasn't my desire or intention to "get rid of him". It was "just another argument" as far as I was concerned during it.

But as I say, I spoke to him and I'm not the reason he didn't wish to return.

Taking yourself hostage?

"Nobody move or I let myself have it!"

Well, this is possibly the most sensible post made on here in a while! It explained the situation, and didn't blame anyone. Frankly, i feel it might be in the wrong place.

About 2 weeks ago Dimrill was trying to persuade me to come back. After some initial browsing I told him I didn't see the point but I'd lurk for a couple of weeks in case I changed my mind. From my point of view just reading the forum properly after a year away, BEEX was looking like your favourite computer magazine when it had cut the pages right back and was being printed on cheaper paper.

So there I am, 2 weeks on and lurking. Nothing I've seen has changed my mind. I then come across this thread during a quieter spell this afternoon and it bothered me because the coals of last year are still being raked over. Some things need clearing up so that people aren't still being blamed for ancient history

WTB and I kissed and made up around Christmas and now follow each other on Twitter etc. While neither of us intend to skip through flower filled fields together holding hands or enter into a civil partnership, relations are perfectly amicable. I'd have hoped the word would have got out because people must have surely seen us tweeting on Twitter.

So that I'm not misremembering, I hope WTB doesn't mind if I quote directly from my reply to him on 23/12/11:

------

I'd been contemplating leaving for some time. Indeed on a couple of occasions I'd gone a few weeks without posting or reading the forum. The "Winehouse" thread just absolutely summed up why I no longer wanted to be there. Like a junkie who couldn't quite quit the habit, that thread gave me the kick up the backside I needed.
…….

I don't think I need to elaborate further about those events. I don't think it was a good or happy time for the forum. Others will of course have their own reasons for leaving but probably not far removed from my own experience.

As soon as I left I discovered Twitter. For those of you unfamilier it's like text messaging all your friends at once, but on your Amstrad. Great fun and of course you only follow the people you want to follow. If you want to take part in Twitter you can buy the software in your local computer shop for £9.99 (tape) or £14.99(disk). Do not buy the US Gold version, (Twatter) it's unofficial and shit.

BEEX? Well to be honest while I am very fond of the vast majority of posters, these 2 weeks backs I've not felt that much love for the forum itself.
However I REALLY hate being used as a stick to beat the forum because I like many of the people here. I stopped posting. I don't think it even qualified as a rage quit. More of a disappointed skulking off.

So what to do? Well I'm typing this now in TextEdit. Hopefully I can still log in and I can post it. I'll leave the account logged in. There are people I'd probably like to talk to. There are also probably people I would like to see die in a chemical fire, but since I'm shit at remembering names and you've probably all changed your avatars I won't remember anyway.

There you go. Said my piece (it's taken long enough to articulate into something coherent enough). To avoid FORUM DRAMAH I won't be posting further in this thread.


Hello to Davpaz

Probably has the wrong author too!

An observation probably worth making at this point is that more than once I have found myself in a situation where one person who I get on with and is lovely to me gets really upset by another person who I get on with and is lovely to me. None of this stuff on the board, when it comes to fixating on another member and not wanting to be around them, is any more than an issue of perception.

I think such perceptions are often framed by what each of us comes individually to see and understand the board as being. Take me for example, I come on to blast off some steam and quell my gurgling rage at some objectively insignificant slight and when my ire is defeated by unwelcome logic and calm, instead of being wrapped in the unthinking sympathy I crave, it gets my back up and suddenly half the forum are rain man and I want to punch them, while the other half are white knights saying what I'd like to say in response but can't because I was already cross when I made my initial point.

These roles are all interchangeable and the best approach anyone can take is to zoom out, take a look at the family tree, trust the good guys judgement when you see that they consider one of the bad guys to be in their list of mates alongsided you... and try and inform your feelings with that.

It's no surprise that those who meet up tend to get into more substantial friendships or pull Mimi or whatever... We are all complex, smart, diverse souls and in all likelihood you could swap out any one of us from those random irl bundles of mates and replace them with anyone else from here and it would work similarly well. A text based forum which we all tend to stream our consciousness onto is never going to do us justice. We are flesh, blood, fire and heart and we all put different amounts of that into our posts, to differing levels of eloquence or brevity for different reasons, in different situations or contexts, at different times, in different moods and whilst paying different levels of attention.

One man's cry for empathy is another's request for detailed, cold analisys.

Forums where everyone gets on all the time make me sick because they are fucking boring and they say little for the members. Our strength is our weakness and while a forum can be some member's whole life through tough times, it's also still just a bloody forum.

For the best is to consider one's opponent, frame them in the context of the random intent filter this place is and use their positive relations with those you already call friend to leverage some forgiveness.

The sort of bad feelings this kind of place can engender will only ever be overcome by selflessness, forgiveness and a default setting of goodwill. A PM to the person upsetting you has in 100% of circumstances, on every forum I've ever been on, sorted it out.

We're all basically awesome, there's just not room for it all on here and some squeeze more in than others. Doesn't make them better people.

Aww.. Hi Chinny!

mr z can you do me a christmas avatar... thanks

*tears up handmade field frolicking invitation*

A Chinny post! What an awesome surprise.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! This thread has brought us closer together on this special and wonderful day. Gawd bless you one and all.

No, hang on, that was yesterday. Sod you all.

I can't believe WTB's lack of field frolicking invitation turned Chinny away.

I blame Alberto and his raft of common sense.

Let's ban everyone

I totally want to frolic.

I'm frolicking right now.

No wait, masturbating

Another snipe from Bamba. I really don't know what your issue is and to be honest. I don't care. Every opportunity you think my opinion is wrong.

Wtb I honestly did not mean to is insult you. I just thought of 2 things that bugged me. The comment by you and the pc stuff by AE. sorry dude.

What comment by me? The one 18 months ago? How is that "insulting people"? I'm not trying to get into a slanging match or prolong this unnecessary arguing, but I'd just like you to clarify what you meant.

It was that one. I did not realise how long ago it was.

My wording in the op was bad.

I just was thinking of examples

Good god almighty Kovacs if we're all going to make our Big Book of BEEX Grievances public I can get the ball rolling with a Top Ten in about 60 seconds flat.

What happened to just letting folks be themselves? I really don't see the big deal here.

Is Craster sniping at you as well? Or is it somehow just me? And you apologised to WTB but I'm still just taking every opportunity to tell you you're wrong somehow?

You said something I disagree with and I, amongst others, said so. That's it, and anything else is nonsense.

I just don't have the online time these days. My silly job means I'm on the road a lot of the time and when I AM at home I'm usually being harangued into doing something useful by 'er indoors.

I still lurk from time-to-time, when I can, but not being a gamer I was never active in those threads anyway. It's B&B and the other general threads where I spend what little time I have. On the rare occasions I've stumbled across a couple of people flaming each other, I keep out of it. Being the ancient old sod that I am, I've seen forums (fora?) deteriorate into apathy or flame wars before and it's disappointing and tedious, but I suppose it's human nature to get into conflict wherever issues are discussed.

Generally, I've found BETEO to be less of a battle ground than some other forums I've used and I hope it will get back to its former glory, even if I'm not able to join in as much as I used to.

I assume it was the "(shock)" that he is referring to as a snipe, and strictly speaking as it was an unnecessary and semi-irrelevant comment it i]was[/i] a snipe, however, Kovacs was wrong.

Edit: Hello warhead.

I am more than happy to be wrong.

So, when is this forum finally being taken to a clinic in Switzerland?

Yes.

It'll carry on for as long as anyone is prepared to pay for it and maintain it, and a few old hands will always be around.

The parallels of BEEX with Fruit Forums (Cavey, Nemmie and Trousers will remember that all too well (also JC and another member here whose FF 'past' isn't public so I won't declare it here)) are quite startling, and Fruit Forums is still going, albeit as a fleeting shadow of what it was in its heyday.

Anyone who's harbouring any thoughts of a 'BEEX resurgence' can forget about that because it won't happen, that doesn't mean it's a shit forum or that it's going to be a shit forum, Fruit Forums is still a nice enough place in its own way, but BEEX is not going to be like it was a year ago, or two years ago, or four years ago - ever again.

Chinny was right when he called that one out.

On the plus side folks are talking.

Review Warhead!

Where's Gaywood?

Also, isn't Dimrill still here?

also also, well, the thread was well overdue, yet disappointingly non-drahma.

No, yet another utterly stupid "Computers are for clever people" rant that was rammed inappropriately into a thread about a game caused him to depart.