Annoyingly, the xbox version did tell me how to kick bad guys. What it didn't tell me was that if you start as a wanderer, the sword it gives you doesn't let you kick people. Spent ages trying to work that out.

Having wasted my money on it I will try to persist to see if I can like it, but from what I've seen so far I can't fathom what made this so awesome. .

People rave about how great the combat is, but unless I use the target-locking system I can't hit shit (might be due to impossibly bad mouse handling), and while target-locked I can't break away if I'm getting my nuts kicked. It's clunky and unpleasant.

I don't remember seeing an always-on stuck mouse cursor on the Xbox version.

Nor did the Xbox version tutorial tell me to use WASD to move.

Nor, indeed, does the PC tutorial tell you to use WASD.

And if they expect to play a game fundamentally designed around a gamepad with a mouse and keyboard...

that is to say, game of the generation.

I'd imagine that more than one person has paid good money for the game of the back of the 360 / PS3 reviews and probably expected some effort to be put into it.

Or without a mouse pointer on the screen.

Because it's never been done - well - before?

I'd imagine that more than one person has paid good money for the game of the back of the 360 / PS3 reviews and probably expected some effort to be put into it.

If it was £15, then yeah, okay, you could perhaps understand it. But it wasn't, it was a full price game, so it's not unreasonable to expect it to work well.

Do the old wired 360 pads work on pc?
If so I could lend one to cg

This game can seemingly do no wrong. If it's shit, it was meant to be shit, and it's your fault for failing to appreciate that the shitness is somehow awesome.

It is a hard game, no arguments there, but the enjoyment for me came through learning how to best it.

Perhaps less enjoyment would be gained if one of the things you had to learn was "how to disable the second monitor".

Can't even remap the keys to the number or symbols keys on the keyboard. Alpha characters only.

Stumbled on to the point where I have a club and a shield, only to be immediately annihilated by the dungeon demon thing. Based on the damage I inflicted though it should be killable this time, so I'll go back later and try again.

Did you go for the deprived class? That's a bold move for a first-timer. It's basically 'make the game difficult for me' mode.

Not quite; it's alright to admit that some aspects of the PC port are shit but you should be satisfied to have given them £40 because it's a bit hard and they don't know what they're doing. It's a cultural thing y'see; and anyway the Japanese don't care about mice so why do you? Or something.

There are some games I've liked, other games I've loved, and some I've thought to be utterly fantastic. But I've never defended a game to the level of bizarre fanaticism seen in Mr Dave. This game can seemingly do no wrong. If it's shit, it was meant to be shit, and it's your fault for failing to appreciate that the shitness is somehow awesome. I don't even think the developers reckon it's that good.

paying customers shouldn't be expected to research the experience and stance of the team behind any product before forking over their money.

Defending a game you happen to think is one of the best ever is "bizarre fanaticism" now?

It's a testament to how much some people have enjoyed this game that they're willing to take time out of their day to bang their head against the metaphorical brick wall of trying to help people to like it more. That shouldn't be discouraged.

ETA: @Mr Dave

If you're happy with a port that doesn't take into account some of the basic differences between two platforms then fine

spluttering outrage

We just blindly buy games from what box cover looks like these days without, at the very least, reading a review or summats? Moar fule you.

So you'd rather it wasn't released then, because the design is incompatible with one of the PCs input methods.

So, if someone doesn't do some amount of research they shouldn't be allowed to complain about a 'faulty' product? Wow.

It's only in response to the spluttering outrage of the idiots who demanded a console game was ported and then got irate when they got a console game.

I just don't agree that it's acceptable to port a game without making a decent fist at adapting the control system, and I don't agree that Dark Souls is a game that only works with a pad. Better with a pad, sure - but from the sound of things it's terrible with KBAM, and that could and should have been addressed, especially if you're charging full price at retail.

What Bamba said. Any valid points Dave might make are lost in the mouth-foaming froth of his fanaticism.