Be Excellent To Each Other

You must very quickly run out of betting companies if that's your yardstick.

I'm not saying you're wrong, because those Victor Chandler ads are literally the worst creative endeavour in recorded human history. But the new Paddy Power ads are literally the worst, too. And the Ladbrookes Shouty Foreign Guy ads, those are literally the worst. Oh, and the Ray Winstone Disembodied Head adverts for Bet365? LITERALLY the worst.

Anyway, the correct answer to this thread is Jeff Dunham, Racist Homophobe Ventriloquist. But less funny as that sounds.

The Betfair ones seem ok. I fucking hate those Paddy Power ones.

See also: every online bingo ad ever. Especially ones featuring Barbara Windsor.

You're watching TV wrong.

I fucking hate Barbara Windsor.

The William Hill app adverts are annoyingly catchy. And now I have the music in my head again.

These are the ones that annoy me the most. Hopefully Chris Kamara will beat shouty foreign guy to death in a later ad.

You sir, have a winning smile!

Thanks!

Oh, you mean Findus?

Gah, bonobos are apes? Fuck you Jimmy Wales, FUCK YOU.

Thanks for the lovely response all. Now, where did Plissken scarper?

On the topic of betting ads, there used to be a poster for Ladbrokes containing the Ladbrokes Lads (Kamara, Ginola, Dixon etc) gadding about in high spirits. And from the way the photo's taken, it looks like they're all pissing in Ginola's face. And Kamara's absolutely loving it. Natch.

Amazing, Jeff.

Fix.

Bearing in mind I am naturally pre-disposed to hate any new comedian, especially the open mike 5 minute amateur.

That was actually pretty good! Certainly no worse than a lot of the acts on the late night standup tv shows

I haven't scarpered you sod! Found a couple of old sets (circa 2004) on DVD this morning. Need to figure out how to get them off there onto my Mac.

Handbrake.

Idiot proof guide welcome.

Use Handbrake.

It's pretty easy, but I can give you a guide tonight when i'm back on my main Mac if nobody has by then

Bastards. Spent the evening cringing my way through a couple of DVDs of stuff. Ugh. Have a early-ish gig as part of the City Life competition at the Manchester Comedy Store. I've labelled it as October 2004, but it might be a year earlier. It is copied off the internal feed so the quality is very ropey - (but enough about the act, oh-ho.)

Very good, I'm suitably impressed!

How come you gave it up, you seemed at home up there and you were funny

Brilliant!

Awesome! Post up some more please

some splendid gags there. Why did you stop? From reading past posts, it sounds like you progressed beyond the grind of the open spot circuit.

Findus, Pliskenn: Very good. Really enjoyed that, thanks.

Excellent stuff Plissken!

Why on earth haven't you posted your stuff on here before now?

How the frig do you guys remember the routines, that in itself astonishes me.

Yeah, I was getting paid work on a regular basis.

A thousand reasons why I stopped. Funny Trooper should say I looked comfortable up there - lots of people said I had good stage present. I really didn't feel it though, and never got over the nerves and figured out how to relax in front of the spotlight - there are a lot of giveaways just how nervous I am in that set if you know what to look for and that is one of the good ones! Another part of it was being stifled into doing crowd-pleasing stuff which got the laughs, but I wasn't happy doing.

But mainly I was the wrong side of 30, self-employed IT contractor earning decent money and settled with a long term relationship. I just didn't want it badly enough. I couldn't have been a big star, just a decent pro act. I try not to sound bitter, because I'm not - like I said, I started around the time John Bishop did, so I could always tell just how far away as I was.

If I was young, free and single I'd probably have given it a good go, but I looked at the price you have to pay to make it as a pro and decided it wasn't for me. Don Ward arranged for me to jump the queue for a spot at the London Comedy Store on the strength of that gig, so I did that, did an hour long fully financed show as part of the Manchester Comedy Festival and figured by doing that I'd accomplished all I ever wanted to.

75% same routine each time but mostly I find it very hard to watch myself and very embarrassed about showing people the tapes. Not being "aw, shucks!" about it - but I review the gig and I can see all the mistakes and none of the good stuff. Most comics are like that - I've seen people rip the room apart, come off and fret about the two that didn't get massive laughs.



1. Practice.
2. A big stock of one-liners, so I can throw just anything in there
3. Piece of A4 with one word per joke written on it. Remember the 60 words (which all kind of follow on from each other) and there is the set.

I thought that was great. You've done something I doubt I'd have the sheer balls to do. I'd be terrified of dying on my arse, and, also, I couldn't ever even get that funny stuff in my head, let alone speak it to a bunch of strangers. That's something to be very proud of.

Findus, linen jackets are the way forward, I've been saying that for years. I think you did excellently, too.

As Mick Ferry once said to me, to stand up in front of 100 drunk people with only a mic for protection doesn't take balls, it just takes a ton of arrogance - "so lets go out there and be cocky fuckers!"

Well done, you pair!

I've sometimes considered trying stand up based around my experiences of running a market stall and based on some of the stuff I do for One Life Left. But I've often felt it might be a bit too niche.

So I decided to take my electronic goth band on the road instead, get much more laughs that way...

Oh and Plissken, I think you did a pretty good job there. It started possibly a little weak but you seemed to gain more confidence as you went on. I'm not overly fond of the gag style though. I prefer things more like Eddie Izzard.

Well done guys, those sets were great I'd never be able to do that but you were both very funny.

I really enjoyed that!

It wasn't even an insult; I've just never considered him a comedian. He was a drug-fuelled 'roving reporter' for MTV originally, disappeared, and returned as a Victorian man-about-town. An anachronistic Paris Hilton with a penis, if you will.

I fucking hate him with a passion.... not sure exactly why, just do....

He was good on a radio show when he trolled a farmer about changing the clocks.

Who's that cunt off Mock the Week and those dreadful Direct Line adverts. He's a cunt and a half he is.

Chris Addison?

I'd like to add Horne and Corden to the list of pap.

Greg something, I think. Greg Proops (Proops?) is a terrible comedian an' all. He hasn't done anything funny since Whose line is it anyway. And he was shit on that too. But not as bad as that guy with the flopsy hair. He was a cunt too. All cunts.

No, you're right Cunt Addison. Useless.

Flopsy hair... um.. Tony Slattery?

Right again, damn, get outta mah brain!

I like Chris Addison.

He hates you.

Tony Slattery was excellent on Whose Line is it anyway at being Tony Slattery.

Unfortunately, he wasn't good at improvising what had been asked for*

Or being funny.

--

* - unless it was improvising being Tony Slattery.

Favourite Whose Line Is It Anyway lineup.

Go.



Mine was Ryan Styles, Colin Mockery, Mike McShane(?) and Josie thingy...

Anything with Stiles and Mockery together tended to be awesome. Unless they had to cope with Tony Slattery.

The English version was much better, because Clive Anderson never tried to force himself into the action.