Be Excellent To Each Other :: View topic - Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?

"it's embarrassing and awkward when the bloke exists on paying"

I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass couldn't afford.

Craster wrote:

I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass couldn't afford.

Craster is richer than all women, you see.

I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass could afford.

It's completely up to you. If you can afford to do it, and you don't have an alterior motive like num nums, you're just being generous. If someone is offended by generosity then I wouldn't want to eat with them anyway.

Mimi wrote:

I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

Mimi wrote:

but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

You've been out with Zardoz then?!?!

jonarob wrote:

That's fair, but I was thinking more long term. Paying for 'a' meal is fine, but if it's always you paying, all the time, I fear something is wrong.

myoptika wrote:

Mimi wrote:

but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

You've been out with Zardoz then?!?!

She's too foul mouthed for me.

Grim... wrote:

Craster wrote:

I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass couldn't afford.

Craster is richer than all women, you see.

I don't like to assume one way or the other.

It's true, though.

Zardoz wrote:

myoptika wrote:

Mimi wrote:

but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

You've been out with Zardoz then?!?!

She's too foul mouthed for me.

That's what happens when you take your date to Nandos.

Zardoz wrote:

myoptika wrote:

Mimi wrote:

but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

You've been out with Zardoz then?!?!

She's too foul mouthed for me.

That's what happens when you take your date to Nandos.

I'll bet solid money you are not richer than J K Rowling.

richardgaywood wrote:

I'll bet solid money you are not richer than J K Rowling.

The point is, dick, that I don't want to say to a bird I've just met "Let's go out for dinner. I fancy posh nosh - are you minted?"

Would a woman ever offer to pay for a man's meal?

Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Yes, of course, if she has a tight-arse.

Yes - by paying for a meal you are putting the woman in your debt and therefore expecting payment (probably of a sexual nature) in return.

my romantic "career"

If I invited the woman out, I'd offer to pay in full.

If she rejects this offer and either says to go halves or offers to pay in full herself, I'll restate my offer.

If she rejects the restated offer, I'll relent.

It's worked well throughout my romantic "career"

That's pretty much what I've decided on. Seems to be working for you at the moment! Teach me all you know, o wise one.

If someone invited me on a date I'd make the effort to pay half, but they should really pay for it. I'd probably buy the drinks though.

Shin wrote:

If someone invited me on a date I'd make the effort to pay half, but they should really pay for it. I'd probably buy the drinks though.

And presumably the opposite if you asked them out?

Dudley wrote:

Shin wrote:

If someone invited me on a date I'd make the effort to pay half, but they should really pay for it. I'd probably buy the drinks though.

And presumably the opposite if you asked them out?

I have never had to ask *Insert smug grin*
But had I asked someone out then I'd pay of course, I'm asking should I should be paying

Mind you, I could probably talk about a rock or something for hours as I never shut up

That's pretty much what I've decided on. Seems to be working for you at the moment! Teach me all you know, o wise one.

Shin wrote:

Mind you, I could probably talk about a rock or something for hours as I never shut up

No, really?

richardgaywood wrote:

No, really?

That's rich coming from someone with over 100,000 posts. 548 a day!

Shin wrote:

Mind you, I could probably talk about a rock or something for hours as I never shut up

No, really?

Author:	Scarysheep3000 [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:32 ]
Post subject:	Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Opinion in the office from women ranges from "it's embarrassing and awkward when the bloke insists on paying" to "not offering to pay looks cheap and scummy". Thoughts? (Apologies if we've done this before; I suspect we have.)

Author:	Zardoz [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:35 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Scarysheep3000 wrote: "it's embarrassing and awkward when the bloke exists on paying" Metaphysical LOL

Author:	ElephantBanjoGnome [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:35 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
I think we live in an age where the bloody woman can afford to fork up for half the meal, or at the very least, have it paid for on the understanding its on her next time. I can't see why that's not fair, really. I'm keen to pay my way in all things, and so I'd judge someone who happily pays for nothing very harshly, particularly if she was a potential gf.

Author:	Zardoz [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:37 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
If I invited a lady out for a meal on a first date I'd pay sure. But I'd want rudies for pudding.

Author:	kalmar [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:37 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Depends if the bloke asked the girl out. If yes, then yes. Isn't it? Edit: and you should always offer.

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Author:	Mimi [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:37 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Um, well, I'd never expect a man to pay for a meal on a date, and he offered I'd probably say 'shall we go halves?' but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

Author:	WTB [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
It's completely up to you. If you can afford to do it, and you don't have an alterior motive like num nums, you're just being generous. If someone is offended by generosity then I wouldn't want to eat with them anyway.

Author:	Goddess Jasmine [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Heh, Mimi typed out my response for me it seems!

Author:	Cras [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass couldn't afford.

Author:	Grim... [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:40 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Depends who invited who.

Author:	Doctor Glyndwr [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:40 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Mimi wrote: I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion.

Author:	myp [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:40 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Mimi wrote: but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion. You've been out with Zardoz then?!?!

Author:	Cras [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:41 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Grim... wrote: Craster wrote: I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass couldn't afford. Craster is richer than all women, you see. I don't like to assume one way or the other. It's true, though.

Author:	kalmar [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:41 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Craster wrote: I would always pay because I'd want good dinner, and I wouldn't want to go somewhere the lass could afford. what you actually meant FTFY

Author:	devilman [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:42 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
richardgaywood wrote: Mimi wrote: I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion. Perhaps not with the teeth protruding that much.

Author:	Zardoz [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:42 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
myoptika wrote: Mimi wrote: but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion. You've been out with Zardoz then?!?! She's too foul mouthed for me. x

Author:	Pod [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:43 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Would a woman ever offer to pay for a man's meal?

Author:	WTB [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:43 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
ComicalGnomes wrote: jonarob wrote: It's completely up to you. If you can afford to do it, and you don't have an alterior motive like num nums, you're just being generous. If someone is offended by generosity then I wouldn't want to eat with them anyway. That's fair, but I was thinking more long term. Paying for 'a' meal is fine, but if it's always you paying, all the time, I fear something is wrong. Oh deffos! I do actually tend to pay for our meals most of the time because I'm usually the one who suggests we go out, but she always offers to pay and I don't let her. HOWEVER, if I'm ever short of cash she happily pays.

Author:	kalmar [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:44 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Zardoz wrote: myoptika wrote: Mimi wrote: but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion. You've been out with Zardoz then?!?! She's too foul mouthed for me. That's what happens when you take your date to Nandos.

Author:	WTB [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:45 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
kalmar wrote: Zardoz wrote: myoptika wrote: Mimi wrote: but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion. You've been out with Zardoz then?!?! She's too foul mouthed for me. That's what happens when you take your date to Nandos. Arf!

Author:	Mimi [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:46 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
kalmar wrote: Zardoz wrote: myoptika wrote: Mimi wrote: but if he repeated that he'd like to pay for the meal I'd graciously accept but try to do something nice in return on another occasion. You've been out with Zardoz then?!?! She's too foul mouthed for me. That's what happens when you take your date to Nandos.

Author:	Cras [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:47 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
richardgaywood wrote: I'll bet solid money you are not richer than J K Rowling. The point is, dick, that I don't want to say to a bird I've just met "Let's go out for dinner. I fancy posh nosh - are you minted?"

Author:	Dr Lave [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:48 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
I've never been in the situation where a meal is the first time we've got to know each other. And so buy the time we are having a meal, whilst I wouldn't assume going halvesies I'ld expect that she would quickly move to pay half, and I would want her too. If she didn't go to pay half, then I would pay for it all but I would think a lot less of her to be honest. A lot less. HBut I think this is a generational thing isn't it. And I suppose if you ask them on a nearsighted date where you don't know each other that well then offering to pay makes sense. Me and the GF always go halves except when one is skint the other will pay. Hell at the minute my GF pays more of the rent than I do, because of my stupid PhD. Equality rules.

Author:	Zardoz [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:48 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Craster wrote: posh nosh Dirty.

Author:	kalmar [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:49 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Craster wrote: richardgaywood wrote: I'll bet solid money you are not richer than J K Rowling. The point is, dick, that I don't want to say to a bird I've just met "Let's go out for dinner. I fancy posh nosh - are you minted?" That's the basis of Grim...'s entire technique!

Author:	Mimi [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 13:54 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Pod wrote: Would a woman ever offer to pay for a man's meal? Yes . I've taken Craig out for a meal quite a few times, he's taken me out for meals, sometimes we go halves - it depends on who has some spare cash, whether it's just on the way back home 'shall we go for a meal' or for a specific occasion. I was in a relationship for a few months (about 8 years ago) with someone who would never let me pay for anything. He was older, had far more money than me and found it almost offensive that men would let women pay even half of a bill. He was forceful and insistent on this - no matter what we did, I couldn't even buy myself a packet of polos. I don't know, it led to tensions. He said it was culturally (he was Greek - actually, Greek Cypriot) how they treated women. I don't know, I wasn't used to it and it always made me feel weird. I don't even know if it was true about being the cultural standard), but he always wanted to go places where the meals would jointly come to just shy of £200, and I guess he knew I couldn't afford that. As I said, he wouldn't even let me buy my own gum, though.

Author:	Cras [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:17 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
The following poll option is also missing: Quote: Yes - by paying for a meal you are putting the woman in your debt and therefore expecting payment (probably of a sexual nature) in return.

Author:	Shin [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:20 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
If someone invited me on a date I'd make the effort to pay half, but they should really pay for it. I'd probably buy the drinks though. If you are 'dating' as in exclusively then it's best to share, I do this with Gaz. Although I owe him 11.00

Author:	GazChap [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:23 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
If I invited the woman out, I'd offer to pay in full. If she rejects this offer and either says to go halves or offers to pay in full herself, I'll restate my offer. If she rejects the restated offer, I'll relent. It's worked well throughout my romantic "career"

Author:	Doctor Glyndwr [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:24 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
GazChap wrote: my romantic "career" You're a sex worker?

Author:	Scarysheep3000 [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
GazChap wrote: If I invited the woman out, I'd offer to pay in full. If she rejects this offer and either says to go halves or offers to pay in full herself, I'll restate my offer. If she rejects the restated offer, I'll relent. It's worked well throughout my romantic "career" That's pretty much what I've decided on. Seems to be working for you at the moment! Teach me all you know, o wise one.

Author:	Shin [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:33 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Scarysheep3000 wrote: That's pretty much what I've decided on. Seems to be working for you at the moment! Teach me all you know, o wise one. Hmmm....we'll see

Author:	Dudley [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:50 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Shin wrote: If someone invited me on a date I'd make the effort to pay half, but they should really pay for it. I'd probably buy the drinks though. And presumably the opposite if you asked them out?

Author:	Shin [ Wed Sep 24, 2008 14:58 ]
Post subject:	Re: Should the man offer to pay for a meal on a date?
Dudley wrote: Shin wrote: If someone invited me on a date I'd make the effort to pay half, but they should really pay for it. I'd probably buy the drinks though. And presumably the opposite if you asked them out? I have never had to ask Insert smug grin But had I asked someone out then I'd pay of course, I'm asking so I should be paying EDIT: Whoops! I got that last bit the wrong way!! Instead of: I'm asking should I be paying I meant I'm asking, I should be paying-D'oh!