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How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
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Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:41 ]
Post subject:  How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
OK, so I keep mentioning my lovely friend who is a solicitor. I only see here about once every year or so, and every time I do she gives me a run down of all the people we know that are now in jail. One time she told me that one of the quietest boys in my class had gone to Prison for smuggling charges whilst he was working at Heathrow airport, the smuggling driven by his father who was a manager at the airport, they were sprung over that and if i remember rightly, embezzlement. Apparently he (the son) took the wrap.

Anyway, today's main story was a lad in my class that is now in jail for terrorism charges.

I googled it and it is true.

He's second from the left. Named there as Zia Ul Haq, we knew him as Mohammed Haq*, which The Guardian uses. Well, I don't know what to think :S

The ambiguity over his name meant it was a pain in the bum to Google, before I thought to put in a few other choice keywords :P
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Oh, and here's Pritesh of the people smuggling story
Author:  Dr Lave [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi you are Angela Lansbury* and I claim my £5.

*The Angela Lansbury of Crime rather than Murders I suppose.
Author:  Rodafowa [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
No, but a mate of mine did have the greatest excuse for being late for work ever:

"Sorry, but I've spent the night in the cells under the Prevention Of Terrorism act."

Plastic BB gun + early nineties indie kid military surplus jacket and rucksack + concerned citizens of Watford + an incident at a military depot down the road a couple of nights previous in which a bunch of assualt rifles got nicked = enormous police operation including armed response teams, helicopters and officers being called in from several adjoining counties.

The way he tells the story, he didn't realise that there was an issue before he spotted five blokes in identical Kappa tracksuits watching him from outside the local cornershop. When he tried to walk past them, he got slammed up against the window and given a close-up view of several submachine guns.

He's still got the clipping from the local paper that reads "CRAZED GUNMAN TERRIFIES TOWN CENTRE".
Author:  kalmar [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
I'd say he's exceedingly lucky to still be alive.
Author:  Rodafowa [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Apparently, if the BB gun had been in his hands rather than sticking out the top of his backpack, they'd have shot first and asked questions afterwards.
Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Did they charge him with anything?
Author:  Rodafowa [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Can't remember if he got off with a caution or they actually charged him with disturbing the peace. Bear in mind this was about fifteen years ago, before the police were in the habit of shooting people for heinous crimes like trying to use the tube whilst being a little bit swarthy.
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
No mates that I know of, but my Physics teacher got banged up for noncing.
Author:  kalmar [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Rodafowa wrote:
Can't remember if he got off with a caution or they actually charged him with disturbing the peace. Bear in mind this was about fifteen years ago, before the police were in the habit of shooting people for heinous crimes like trying to use the tube whilst being a little bit swarthy.


Hmm, but they were in the habit of shooting Irishmen in possession of carrier bags since quite a while..
Author:  kalmar [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
One of my schoolmates died from drugs.. don't think we had any terrorist geniuses like Mimi though. Or anyone of the name Mohamed.
Author:  devilman [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
kalmar wrote:
Hmm, but they were in the habit of shooting Irishmen in possession of carrier bags since quite a while..


Harsh environmental policy they have over there.
Author:  Tmuk [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Some mates of mine got in trouble a few years back. It was even on London Tonight (briefly), something to do with 'supplying cannabis in North London and East Hertfordshire', although they still refuse to go into details. Their Dad was inside for a year, one of them had to do community service and the other got off scott free. How cool am I, hanging around with criminals? :attitude:
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
There were a lot of Mohammeds in my school, which is why I remember their surnames as Mohammed ______, Mohammed ______. It's a shame, because he was a nice lad. Pritesh of the people smuggling story was the quietest, most unassuming boy I had ever met. Sadly, a number of my school friends died from drugs.

Is 'noncing' being a pimp? What's 'poncing'?
Author:  MaliA [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
There were a lot of Mohammeds in my school, which is why I remember their surnames as Mohammed ______, Mohammed ______. It's a shame, because he was a nice lad. Pritesh of the people smuggling story was the quietest, most unassuming boy I had ever met. Sadly, a number of my school friends died from drugs.

Is 'noncing' being a pimp? What's 'poncing'?


Noncing is fiddling with kids, poncing is the way I walk, according to my mate Matt the builder. But he changed his mind when I reminded him from the other side of the pub about his shrunken nut syndrome from steroid abuse.
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Oh no! >:| My friend's dad, also a teacher, was done for that ?:|

Terrible, terrible thing.

I thought one of them (a nonce or a ponce) was a pimp :p
Author:  MaliA [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
I R PIMP.
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Nonce = Kiddy fiddler.
Ponce = 'A friend of Dorothy' see also Southerners.
Once = Very thick Dulux paint.
Author:  Malc [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
I know several of my old classmates are in Jail, (or at least have been, they might have been released by now)

Two or Three were in for Armed Robbery after being caught robbing a post office with shotguns

One was arrested for stabbing our Maths teacher

One committed suicide (do you go to jail for that?)

and 3/4 went around mugging people so they probably got caught at one point or other.

That's just those from my class (of 31) god knows about the rest of the year and indeed the school!

Malc
Author:  Plissken [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Zardoz wrote:
Nonce = Kiddy fiddler.
Ponce = 'A friend of Dorothy' see also Southerners.
Once = Very thick Dulux paint.


Beyonce - Warbling bint.
Author:  Nik [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
Oh no! >:| My friend's dad, also a teacher, was done for that ?:|


For walking like MaliA? Harsh.
Author:  MaliA [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Nik wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Oh no! >:| My friend's dad, also a teacher, was done for that ?:|


For walking like MaliA? Harsh.


In fairness, the punishment IS the crime.
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Spinglo Sponglo! wrote:

One committed suicide (do you go to jail for that?)



No, because you tend to be dead.
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
MaliA wrote:
Nik wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Oh no! >:| My friend's dad, also a teacher, was done for that ?:|


For walking like MaliA? Harsh.


In fairness, the punishment IS the crime.



:DD I thought that was 'mincing'.
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Attempted Suicide is a crime.
Author:  Kern [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Wasn't it once a capital offence?
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Zardoz wrote:
Attempted Suicide is a crime.


Not now. It used to be, but that was some years ago, I believe.
Author:  Dudley [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Feyonce - Often a mistake.
Author:  MrChris [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Attempted Suicide is a crime.


Not now. It used to be, but that was some years ago, I believe.

This is correct.

It is an offence to make a suicide pact, though.
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Yes, I think it is nearly 50 years or so since suicide has been a crime, but as Mr Chris says, I think that suicide pacts and assisting in a suicide are still criminal offences.
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Isn't it murdering yourself though?

Also: So Malc's a liar then?
Author:  Malc [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Where did I lie?

Malc
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
School mate banged up for committing suicide comment.

Also: In your bed! LOL
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 13:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Malc asked if you go to jail for suicide, though as I said if he has committed suicide then he can't very well be in jail, so I think Malc menat that he had committed a crime, rather than was actually residing at his majesty's pleasure.
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 13:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
his majesty's pleasure.


His majesty's? What is it, 1950?
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 13:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
(I know, I wrote the mistake I just corrected. I am astounded at my sillyness)

(Not really astounded, or even surprised. Heck, I do that kind of thing all of the time)

Who fancies a nice sandwich?
Author:  MaliA [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 13:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
(I know, I wrote the mistake I just corrected. I am astounded at my sillyness)

(Not really astounded, or even surprised. Heck, I do that kind of thing all of the time)

Who fancies a nice sandwich?



ME, PLEASE!
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 13:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Dear Mimi,

My comment about Malc being a liar was merely a diversionary tactic to take the heat off me being wrong about suicide being a crime. I hope this puts an end to the matter.

Yours Sincerely,

Zardoz
Author:  Mimi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 13:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Dear Zardoz,

I did not understand your motivation in doing such a thing. Please accept my condolences and the following piece of advice. When attempting to cover up your wrongness, do not exacerbate your level of wrong by adding a whole one pile of wrong on top of it. Two wrongs do not, after all, make a right.

Peace out.

Image

Monkey, CEO Banana Enterprises.
Author:  Dudley [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 14:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
[vote: Zardoz]
Author:  Dimrill [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 15:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
I thought one of them (a nonce or a ponce) was a pimp :p


It is
Urban Dictionary wrote:
Term originated in the UK and came to prominence in the 1960's, initially to describe a pimp. In Spanish it means "prince" and could have either been referring to the fancy, over-the-top clothing and jewelry popular with pimps, or because he was surrounded by a harem of women, involved in the underworld, but usually not the actual "king" of the area (he had to pay tribute to use the block or neighborhood).

Now it is generally used to refer to someone (usually a male) who dresses in nicer clothing and acts in a polished fashion; often interchangable with fag or pussy, but not necessarily as derogatory: a ponce is not necessarily homosexual, nor are they necessarily passive or weak, but they would tend to be thought of as metrosexual or gay in their manner of dress.
Author:  GazChap [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 17:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mimi wrote:
There were a lot of Mohammeds in my school

This is because Mohammed is one of the most common Christian names in the world.

On topic: He only spent a night in the cells, but a guy I knew at college was banged up for a night for posting a flash movie file on a web forum that contained a message about wanting to assassinate the US president, but he'd mucked about with the file to make it sort of self-replicate and spawn popups of itself, and it caused quite a bit of hassle.

He did it on the college computers and apparently the IT department got a call from someone at the FBI or whatever asking what the hell was going on ;)
Author:  Mimi [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 17:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
GazChap wrote:
Mimi wrote:
There were a lot of Mohammeds in my school

This is because Mohammed is one of the most common Christian names in the world.
I know, I said that in response to Kalmar who said, a few posts earlier, that there was nobody of the name of Mohammed at his school. The name may be extremely common, but in the UK it is only a very common name in some geographical areas.
Author:  GazChap [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 18:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
It was a joke, Meems ;) Heheh.
Author:  Mimi [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 18:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
A joke? But why is that funny? :S

Is 'Christian name' the accepted term, still?
Author:  GazChap [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 19:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Mohammed isn't from Christianity, so it can't be a Christian name ;)

Sorry, was more of a bad pun really than a joke, but I always like dropping that into conversation when I can ;)
Author:  Mimi [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 19:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Oh, very puny. I meant punny.
Author:  Sir Taxalot [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 20:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: How many of your old schoolmates are in jail
Someone told me that originally a ponce was someone that steals money from a pimp and/or whores.

Anyway, a good friend of mine got sent to prison for fraud. He worked for the benefits agency and reactivated old claims - and redirected them into his girlfriend's account. What a stupid dick thing to do.

However, he is a friend and I stood by him, but making certain to tell him how pissed off I was about it and that he better not do anything like that again.

Another friend has a former classmate in prison on terrorism charges. His name is Wasim, and it was on the BBC website. My friend once punched him in the face and bloddied his nose in class, apparently :metul:
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