Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.

Went to the gym last night and as usual I only took in my phone and headphones, water, towel and 'reduced' keys (not the full bunch, so they can be kept in my pocket rather than a locker). Usually split my keys in the hallway before setting out. So I finished my workout and set off home in the car passing a few Pokéstops on the way. When I get to the door and look at my keys there's no front door key...

It must have dropped of in the gym I thought so I drive back to ask at the desk. No one's there. I have a look around the gym at all the equipment I used but no joy. Shit. Went back to the desk still nobody there, so I look about and they're all in the pool hosting a kids party with massive inflatable.

I go back to car and search the foot wells and around the spot where I'd parked. Nothing.

Decided to leave it for now and drive home and call my Mum to see if she has a spare. She doesn't but my brother's there and he decides to drive round to help me get in somehow.

I thought I might have left the back door unlocked but to get in the back I had to climb over the big gates. Luckily it was bin day so I plonked it on its side and used it as a step to get up and over the fence. Back door is locked BUT I'd left the conservatory windows open!

By now my brother arrives and he offers to try and get through the small window for me while I hold the wheelie bin for him. After a few minutes of contortion he gets in and we unlock the back door!

I offer him a drink and while he's still there I look in the hallway for the rest of my bunch, nothing there. Nothing on the kitchen counter. Puzzled.

I wave my brother off when he's finished his drink from the now opened front door.

Just then it hit's me.

I remembered splitting my keys in the car not at home and stashed the other half of the bunch (including front door key) in my glove box.

I need help.

Plonker

Bins are a great burglar's tool though. A few years back my American chum came to stay with me and soon learned that once you close an English front door there's no opening it again without a key. Over there you have to lock them before they are locked.

So I used a bin and did a Spiderman but god, it sucked.



Did a quick pic. I had my back to the wall up there on the porch roof and honestly I stood there shitting my pants for over an hour. I kept trying to pluck up the courage to make the 13" or so step onto the window ledge but my legs kept going from underneath me.

In the end I did it and to this day there are still dirty hand marks all over the window frame inside at the top. Mums eyes are not what they once were but I left it there as a memento of the time we got locked out and laugh every time I see it

i can't lock myself out

Then you might find that you have no house insurance.

Surely your usual items also include a swimming cap for improved aerodynamics type things while swimming?

why? a seven lever mortice lock is approved.

why? a seven lever mortice lock is approved.

I really don't need a swimming cap, Dave.

Neither did Duncan Goodhew but it never stopped him. Go for it Zardoz!

Neither did Duncan Goodhew but it never stopped him. Go for it Zardoz!

My insurance specifies that I have to have an automatic deadlatch, specifically because you can't leave it unlocked (which of course you can, but shh).

Bin shed door

(am I doing this right?)

Title

we even have a "Goodhew close"

Your phone store will swap them over for you.

Yeah I know. I called Virgin earlier. They will have one with me by tomorrow, Thursday at the latest.

Is that your nickname for Joans?

Is it smaller? You could cut it yourself. I did this with my dads.

Don't do this. Firstly, going from micro SIM to nano SIM (which I am certain is what Jazzy is doing) isn't just smaller around - it's thinner too. Secondly, if you get the sizing even slightly wrong on a nano SIM, there's a small chance it can slip out of the tray and end up loose in the phone, or get wedged in. These are expensive things to fix. Your provider will swap your SIM for free.

Is it smaller? You could cut it yourself. I did this with my dads.

I like the giffgaff gaff sims. They send you one sim and it can have the inside bits pop out to become any size you desire.

Well, it turns out it's a nay. My probation has been extended by four weeks. In fairness, they were really nice about it and praised me for loads of stuff. Just some other stuff, including that email, that aren't so great.

They also tried to give me a "good" in their tick boxes for attendance. I argued that I've not had a day off so that should be a "very good".

They changed it... Small victories I suppose?

Today has been shit.

Hoping for some resolution and a happy ending.

He's not got a job in a massage parlour, Mr Chris. You'll have to go elsewhere. I think Findus Fop and Gazchap might be able to help, for a price. Well, not much of a price in Gazchap's case.

So how did this end up? I assume you've passed your probation, right? Have I missed the update in the Yay or Nay thread? Hoping for some resolution and a happy ending.

I did indeed pass my probation in the end. I pulled my socks up and they were very pleased with what I'd done. Thanks for asking.

Good stuff. Have your stupid bosses sorted out their pissing contest?

Yay - I've just had a tooth scanned and they're building a 3D model to fill it like having one 3D printed!

How does it plug into your gums?

USB-C

How does it plug into your gums?

How does it plug into your gums?