From my past experience, the first time of saying 'No' was really hard and there were tears and wailing, gnashing of teeth etc.
It got easier but it was always a bit like a tug-of-war. Sometimes easier for us, sometimes harder, and it always took effort.
And then we moved really far away. Uh, not sure I'd recommend that part glibly though.
Quote:
"I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know"
When I did this, with my mum, Lady T had a few concerns that I initially didn't realise or understand. Basically, If mum asks/demands to come over and I say 'wait til I've checked with Lady T' and then later come back with 'no you can't come over' it looks as if Lady T is the one that has said 'no' and this can also lead to Lady T feeling like the bad guy, and/or like mum being pissed off at Lady T.
I can't remember exactly what alternative we reached over this (there was swearing and then eventually moving far away) but the key was the wording, it became something like 'I'm not sure that works for us, so hold on and I'll let you know'