Be Excellent To Each Other

My Eldest has only 5 weeks and 6 days holiday this year for the summer holidays (last year it was exactly 42 days, this year 41).

Which I think is pretty crap.

Malc

There's no evidence to support the theory that 9/11 was orchestrated by paedophiles, and you'd do well to stop spreading that rumour and diverting attention away from the real culprits.

This reminds me.....

I went to Tesco this evening and there was a used ladies sanitary product blowing around the car park.

Fucking hell, what is wrong with people? It's bad enough that half the shoppers and staff in there don't fucking wash or stand in the aisles consuming the smell of their own farts. But what new depths that place has sunk to!

This may be way too much infomation about wimminz here.

When you say sanitary product do you mean a towel? It's generally only teenage girls who use them because us older women learned the lesson that every girl does at some point. The glue on the back of them does not work, the adverts, they lie.

The direct result of this is that at some point in one's tender formative years one finds oneself enquiring as to "what the fuck is that thing touching my knee under my jeans", you may get lucky and find this out (as I did) in the safety of ones own home, but there are a few poor girls who have this happen after, say, using the bathroom in a supermarket, leaving them no option but to let it fall and hope like hell no one saw.

Don't hate the lone sanitary product, feel sad for it as there is now one more shamed victim deeply scared by false advertising in the world.

It's their own fault for having a vagina, the evil whores.

Mmmmm 18 years in & that's never happened to me!

Hmm... everytime I click on this link to an article about vintage baseball enthusiasts a friend sent me, I see the page briefly before it's replaced with a local weather forecast. How bizarre. I can just about read the piece by hitting 'esc' the second it appears, but it's not ideal. Vintage baseball looks fun, though.

EDIT: And gives me an excuse to link to this Conan O'Brien skit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Aax2V7a3S4

You obviously rarely have a sweaty clackalackadackdack

Has your wife not given birth yet, APOD?

Have you tried hitting her really hard on the back?

This reminds me of something Mrs W told me about the daughter of one of her colleagues. She was of an age when she needed to begin using these products, but after a couple of days she complained to her mum that all was not well in that it she was unable to get the the thing to stick to her mimsy.

You should change it really.

Crikey, it's the Game Fair over the weekend at Blenheim Palace. I'd avoid all roads around XOford if you want to get anywhere in a hurry.



Apparently, they expect 140,000 people over the three days. I'm pelased I got the train in this morning.

Erk.

Man I bet the Range Rover per square mile ratio there is huge.

On a related note, has anyone ever done clay pigeon shooting? I've been making random holes in biys of card with a 22 rifle for a bit, and that's fun, so I wouldn't mind trying to blast small fragile discs out of the sky as well.

Unless you mean standing in a someone's back garden in the back end of Iowa whilst a baptist preacher throws dinner plates into the air whilst I try and hit them using not shot but solid rounds from an anonymous 12 guage, then, no, I haven't.

Clay pigeon shooting is one of the most fun disciplines you'll do as shooting a moving target is much more satisfying than shooting a static one.

Three bits of advice for clay pigeon:

1) Make sure the shotgun is firmly in your shoulder, you don't want it kicking back when you pull the trigger and giving you bruises.

2) Don't aim at the clay, aim in front of it.

3) Try not to consciously aim at all - if you can master looking in the general direction of the clay and letting the gun follow naturally, you'll probably find you automatically aim properly and hit the clays.

Hang on a second...I seem to be...yes, yes I am, I'm downloading a torrent from pirate bay that's totally legal...

Don't expect to go anywhere in a hurry today, start of the holiday rush...

I got the train in today, despite the roadds being oh so quiet the past few days. For some reason, I can get to the station with 5 minutes to spare when it is mufti day, but really have to rush otherwise. I blame shaving.

I can't help but think we could have a BEEX variant involving a Magnum Lightphaser and some 3.5 inch floppies.

3", surely.

Today I am going to respond to all queries with "that's an ecumenical matter" and see how I get on.

How do you think you will do?

That's an ecumenical matter.

What's your take on Islam?

Kissyfur, who was the last person to hold your cock?

Anyone else having trouble accessing their Bacefook account? Or is it just me?

Kissyfur, how do you spell "That's an economical matter"?

Billy Connolly reckons you can respond to anything, whether it's a query or not, with either, 'Absolutely,' or 'Well, why not?'
I've tried this, and it seems to work.

What time is it ?

Absolutely 12:26.

I was trying to keep the costs down.

Also 3 inch discs are made of a sightly different and harder plastic. Therefore they are liable to shatter and have someones eye out.

Fake Apple Stores found in China.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14236786

Imagine working there, thinking you're employed by Apple? How bizarre.

We were discussing that in the pub last night...

Mmmm, pub...

Shazbat. Is it only 2.15. Seems to have been a long day.

Not long to go now.

59mins and counting till weekend!!!

Three and a quarter hours.

I'm working until 7pm tonight.

I will be watching Harry Potter then..

I'll prolly have been to the chippy.

I'll be considering an ecumenical matter.

Well, why not?

I'll probably be having a beer in Chavpub

Absolutely!

I think that's an ecumenical matter.

I've just remembered that Fridays = early finish, so I only have an hour to fill, instead of the 1.5hrs I initially thought! Woohoo!

After this week, and today especially, I think I've earnt my Friday afternoon pint. Bliss.

I'd love a pint right now. Did you know that the Duke's Cut has Happy hour from 3-7pm, so £2 for a pint Hobgoblin (and others) I think it has wifi, too. The Honey Pot also has a happy hour.

I feel like drinking some booze tonight.

Oh, and I'll probably eat the Habanero Peanuts* I've just remembered about too.


*from ASDA, and they're bloody lovely.