With all the Glitter talk I think the situation is superb for a repost of that advert I found in an old issue of Crash:

Your Dad fancies MaliA?

(SUBS: PLEASE INSERT BRIAN BLESSED PHOTO/QUOTE HERE)

I can't place the name right now but if it's who I'm thinking of she's one of the increasingly gorgeous BBC London rotation.

He said that he and Paul Hudson, the weatherman, went into Christa’s dressing room one night after the programme where she sat surrounded by mirrors, and the following exchange took place:

Christa: Now lads, do you think I could do with a bit of work doing around my eyes?
Harry: I looked at Paul and he looked at me, and we said nowt.
Christa: What about the bust area, do you think that gravity is taking it’s toll?
Harry: I looked at Paul and he looked at me, and we said nowt.
Christa: What about my derriere, perhaps it’s not as pert as it used to be?
Harry: I looked at Paul and he looked at me, and we said nowt.
Christa: Come on lads, can’t you think of anything positive to say?
Harry: Paul looked at me and then he looked at her and he said: ‘You’ve got good eyesight, Christa.’

To be honest anything is an improvement since the bright orangeness of Emily Maitlace left for Newsnight. Self important orange cow who fancies herself as the next Paxman but in reality should be behind the perfume counter in Boots with the rest of the orange middle aged woman with loads of make-up. Oooh, it makes me mad. [CG Dimlie]

I like the orange bloke who does the business news on BBC Breakfast. He permanently looks as though he's just a heartbeat away from throwing down his notes and bursting into songs from the musicals.

I wonder, is it possible to move to Oxford on £2,000?

You planning on going there so you can beg in McDonalds?

I wonder, is it possible to move to Oxford on £2,000?

"The Hills are ALIVE with....spanish planes on fire."

My new camera has arrived, and while pissing about with it I've taken a nice angry-looking picture of myself and put it in my avatar. Your reactions will determine whether or not I leave it there. Grrrrr

You look more sulky than angry.

You won't be saying that when I pull your eyes out.

My new camera has arrived, and while pissing about with it I've taken a nice angry-looking picture of myself and put it in my avatar. Your reactions will determine whether or not I leave it there. Grrrrr

Are you fucking kidding me? Two seperate things have made me angry today, I'm just too incoherant to put them into words.

Why were self-checkouts invented? They're a load of anger-instigating SHITE.

Are you fucking kidding me? Two seperate things have made me angry today, I'm just too incoherant to put them into words.

Why were self-checkouts invented? They're a load of anger-instigating SHITE.

'Oh, some of these cars are sold with ANTI-SMOKING PACKS which means the cigarette lighter point isn't wired in as it comes from the factory.

I hear MaliA's always good for a tenner or so, just be persistent and he'll cave in eventually.

THE CAR HAS NO LIGHTER, JUST A POWER POINT THAT APPRENTLY IS NOT WIRED IN? IN WHAT WORLD CAN THIS BE CONSIDERED AN ANTI-SMOKING PACK?

I'm worried about what I'm going to say on the phone tomorrow if they're anything less than immediately congenial and compliant on the phone tomorrow.

You look more sulky than angry.

See also the teeth-grinding inducing Christa Ackroyd in Look North.

And this is me with my friend Osama...

My new camera has arrived, and while pissing about with it I've taken a nice angry-looking picture of myself and put it in my avatar. Your reactions will determine whether or not I leave it there. Grrrrr

Would he not end up looking like Deidre Barlow then?

Whiny too.

I prefer this one instead. Can't remember where I got the idea from.