Sometimes, it is quite tricky to construct any form of narrative thread when doing BeeXWeeX. I often try to think of a theme; a skein to connect it all together. Ultimately, I just re-write the stuff that Craster sends me, changing a few names and the odd noun. It's for the best that way. people only ever skim read this part and browse quickly down to see who's brought the funny or insightful in digital form this week. Sorry, Zardoz, you're not in it.
In the news, it's mainly Euro 2012, and Cameron was at the Leveson inquiry. I'm guessing one is more popular than the other. I got bored of Leveson a while back. There's some movement to stop people being beastly to one another on-line and Theresa May is following Kern's predicted path of Home Secretaries going a bit mad and saying things to fill uncomfortable silences. In sport it was football, twice a day. Which is quite good. Especially as I finish at 4pm, so can be in the pub well in time for the early kick off. It's like when I first moved to Bicester, this routine, coming home,going to the pub and reading a book (its' quite a good one, actually, thanks for asking - Bring the Jubilee by Ward Moore ) before going home and having a pizza, not speaking to anyone then going to bed. Crying.
I think I'll write another paragraph. I can practically feel Zardoz's eyes wanting to skip down to see if I was joking in the first paragraph. I wasn't. I'll get there soon, Zarzy, don't worry. Before that, I'd like to write about what's going to happen next week. I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller. I daresay some football will be played, Leveson will rumble on (like a glacier of truth, or something), and the world will keep turning. Look, it's hard this. Even Charlie Brooker's been struggling recently. He's been talking about his child in his columns. Didn't get a great reception, he didn't seem to like people telling him he's changed and really didn't like the lukewarm reception his last few bits have got. Holly Valance has been pictured with a mahoosive engagement ring. It really is huge. She was in a film called Dead or Alive, which was the prize at the cottage for having me in the team. I think it was her, I get confused.
Social engagements now! Dates for your diary! We've got the BBQ at the end of June, and I'm sure you're all really looking forward to that, Cardiff Beers on the 14th August and Tinkers Rucksack the weekend preceding the August bank hoiday (that's all the mention you're going to get Zardoz, sorry). The Main Event is the cottage in October. Curio's going to run a game of mafia next week, so I'll be looking forward to people not speaking and not lynching all day. So don't do this.
Right, now we've finished the whore's dove, it is time for the main course. What have we been thinking is really good, funny or interesting this week? And who has said it? It's been a fairly quiet week, as I only had a few days worth of stuff to do. This is because Trooper stepped Henry V like into the breach on Monday, due to administrative errors by unnamed parties. Yes, Zardoz, we're almost there. No, you're not. It's been an absoulte pleasure reading the things you've sent me. I felt more popular than usual, but then I realised you were just fulfilling an obligation. So, here we go.
After this short note: Have a lovely weekend, and I hope the weather isn't too bad for you all.
OK! GO!
Dimrill's bedroom suffers redecoration and Winona get a facial.
MaliA's experience of breaking into boudoirs pays off, and can watch unseen.
Findus calls Plissken out and it's a stand up fight. Yeah, I know. Sorry.
Nikachu plugs his new home. It's not all pickled herring and potato vodka followed by months of bleak, dark depression and black metal, they have good food, it seems.
Craster helps out with KC's revision, not quite starting with ABC.
"Treat them mean, and roll in the green" according to EBJ. My bank balance begs to differ, I beg the bank.
MaliA comments on innovation in games, as we need some.
Top work from Kern, superb use of words.
Thanks to Kovacs C, Plissken, MetalAngel, MaliA, Grim..., Craster, Mimi and man who puts the 'avpa' in the D to the Z, Davpaz.
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Mr Chris wrote:
MaliA isn't just the best thing on the internet - he's the best thing ever.