Be Excellent To Each Other

What would you do if you woke up this morning and found you were a dog?

Lick my balls.

Shit on my neighbours garden.

Have a lie in. Then hump a pretty lady.

Just like a normal Saturday

I'd go back to bed.

I'd probably go instantly and irrevocably insane as I realised I was trapped in the body of an animal and that my life had become some Kafka-esque horror show.

Just like a normal Saturday.

I'd come to blows with my family whom I resent due to being the only earner and thus feel as if I am being treated merely as a source of income, suffer from feelings of alienation and guilt, have an existential crisis, struggle to find my own identity after years of dehumanization and then die alone out of a sense of family duty.

I'd probably put a gang together and solve mysteries by exposing seemingly otherworldly ghosts and monsters as non-supernatural criminals.

I'd waste time chasing cars around my head. Then I'd lay here. Just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I'd also scooch my arse across the floor in the background of a local news report.

Would I still have the mind of a fully grown adult?

If so, I’d probably do things to freak people out like operate a pelican crossing or pay for something in a shop using a debit card.

I’d be on RudeTube in no time!

Is it hard typing with paws?

No, you'd have the same brain as now.

Find some other dogs to shag I suppose. Actually this is Hull, there's probably a good many human women about who'd be up for it.

/edit am I a boy dog or a girl dog?

Has something happened Mr Russell that you want to share with the group..

I think it's best I keep quiet for the time being.

Ruh-roh.

Push Timmy into a well.

Timmy the dog from The Famous Five? How awful!

How about if it was Timmy Mallett?

If I had a day as my dog it'd be lovely. I'd wake up, have a cuddle with lady T, get given breakfast and have a nice walk, lounge in the morning sun and then play in the garden, sit in my paddling pool and maybe play ball. Then I'd go for a lovely walk and get more food, then have a kip. Beauty!

I'd probably also say 'sausages'

get blamed on for my owners farts.

Have no higher brain functions

There'd be a voice that kept on calling me, down the road, that's where I'd always be. and every stop I made, I'd make a new friend, 'can't stay for long', just turn around and I'd be gone again

Maybe tomorrow you'd want to settle down ?

Yeah, but I wouldn't be a dog that day.

You'd wake up stark bollock naked at the foot of some random person's bed 300 miles from home. That'd be one fun conversation.

D..Dad?

Ah... uni days

Didn't that ( almost ) happen to Grim...?

Bloody Squirt, posting invisible posts.