Grim... wrote:
Holla!
Mrs Grim... is off to hospital next week, and this time I'll be stuck with the Grimlet, so it's fucking IMPERATIVE she gets well quickly.
Last time, many people were excellent enough to leave her a message, which I then printed out and gave to her. Some excellent people even included or drew pictures.
If you could do it again, that would be acebest
Dear Mrs Grim...
It is it's fucking IMPERATIVE that you get well quickest again. Mr Grim... told me to say that.
I am afraid that I can't draw pictures. I mean, I can, but they are a bit rubbish. By a bit rubbish, I mean, elephants with paintbrushes in their trunks look at them and shake their heads slowly. Or maybe I'm attending the wrong art classes. I can't even offer you a jaunty tune to whistle along with, as I can't whistle. Or write tunes. Well, I did try once, and, as I was busking at the age of 16 it worked quite well. Where quite well was 8 quid. Ho hum.
Tell you what, to pass the time, can you write a review of Mirror's Edge for me. It doesn't matter that you haven't played the game, just write the thing in the style of a letter to an ex girlfriend, explaining how, at times, it was really quite awesome, but at othertimes, it was a melee of frustration and love. One thousand words would be good. It'll end up on a webiste, and, probably with my name on it, but I have the Get out clause that the ex girlfriend will not be named as Ruby, Olivia, Grace, Emily, Jessica, Chloe, Sophie, Lily, Mia, Lucy, Amelia, Derek, Evie, Ella, Katie, Ellie, Charlotte, Summer, Megan, Hannah, Ava.
Then, after that, Can you do the Guardian quick crossword, then the T2 crossword, and get someone to send me the answers, so I can look cool in front of the college girls.
Even though I have never met you, you let Mr Grim.. build what is, frankly, a silly machine. An enterprise I wholly applaud, and, as a result, I think you are Acebest.
Get back soon, other wise Mr Grim... will be sending Grim...let into bits of car to polish things that people will never see anyway, which is a bit wrong.
But let Mr Grim... continue to take the Grimlet out in the Superman costume as it's, frankly, one of the funniest mental images I've had in a while. And you know that to. But stop Mr Grim.. fighting with knife weilding maniacs on the tube, as well.
Lots of love, Malia.
_________________
Mr Chris wrote:
MaliA isn't just the best thing on the internet - he's the best thing ever.